11 Months- I never want to forget.

11 months. So sad! How is she this big??

- Her love of books. Even though this love is usually shown through trying to rip out all the pages, she loves it when I read. She will lay by me and try to touch the pages constantly. I even read some of my books to her this way.

She also loves her own books.

Look at that little round body! She was paying attention to a book called "Babies and Doggies".

 - That little smile. Melt.

 - The way she sleeps. Sharing a room with a baby is hard. Sharing a room with someone who can stand and stare at your bed is harder. But I love peeking in at her sleeping positions throughout her naps and at night. It is so cute!

 -How much she loves the park. Only one of the parks nearby has swings so that's the one we go to most often. But no matter how bad of a day she is having she just lights up when she swings! 

 -How adventurous of an eater she is. She will eat almost anything. The only two things she has NOT liked are avocado (which is weird because she loves guac) and broccoli. Here she is sampling watermelon.

 - Her little tiny ponytails. They flop over almost immediately because there isn't enough hair to keep them up, but seriously. So cute. 

 - How much she loves watching the birds. On ANY given morning you can find her here watching the birds go by. When one lands on our balcony she loses her mind and squeals a ton.

 - How snuggly she still is. This was when she was teething and oh so sad, but she fortunately usually just wants to snuggle. It could be much, much worse.

- Her sense of humor. She has been starting to do things just to be funny! I LOVE it. It always makes me laugh.  

- How much of a grownup she thinks she is. This may get old as she gets older, but it cracks me up now. She wants your phone or laptop if she sees it, and she will make you move over so she can get comfortable. Sometimes WAY comfortable. 

 - Watching her interact. She has been having more time with strange kids lately, and she is really learning how to be part of a group. Or so it seems, I may be wrong. But she loves going to library story time and interacting with kids.

 - That little round body. Seriously. Could it be any cuter? I know it isn't actually true, but sometimes I say I never want her rolls and softness to go away! She is SO soft.

We love you Cora Faye! You are the best part of both your parents. And your birthday is flying around the corner!

The word "and".

I follow a Facebook page called "Modern Inspiring Mormon Women", or something to that effect. There have been many posts about different women, all with the concept of "Embrace your and!" They are a mother AND a student AND a worker AND an expatriate etc.

Well, I am trying to embrace my "and" AND it really has been hard. I just started an online master's program, and I want to get through it quickly. I am also being pulled a bunch of different directions in church and feel like I can't give the proper attention to any of my five callings because of it.

Right now, I am a wife AND a mother AND a student AND a Cub Scout leader AND a Primary teacher AND the first counselor in the Stake Primary Presidency AND the ward organist AND a piano teacher AND a friend AND a runner AND a reader AND AND AND AND AND.

I have tried so hard to remain positive, really I have. And the purpose of this is not to complain. It is more to just voice how my brain feels. Which may be complaining, oh well.

I try day in and day out to do what is right. I take Cora out a few times a day, even if it is just to the grocery store or the library (across the street). She loves going outside. I try to talk to her all day, and read stories multiple times a day, and feed her good natural foods. She can get into chicken nuggets later (KIDDING MOM!).

School is going to be hard. It is something I have wanted to do, and I knew it will be hard work, but that doesn't mean it won't be overwhelming. My final semester is a practicum that is a replica of my student teaching. 16 weeks, full time in the classroom. Which means my little tender nugget is going to have to go to a daycare for that time. Which kills me. And also makes me apprehensive about the idea of having an even tinier baby around to go to the daycare. I know that is a luxury to even be worried about it, but that is something I have never wanted for our babies if we could help it.

Church has been stressful. I have 2 official callings and 3 unofficial ones. One is going to double as a part time job, which is nice because we have prayed for a way for me to make a little extra income without having to pay for childcare. But at the end of the day I am away a lot more than Brandon is at night, because of the meetings I have.

The worst is I feel terrible for Brandon. I really am not trying to push him off to the side, and he knows that. I hope. But we are both so tired when he gets home (12 hour ER rotations) that it isn't the same. The days off are GREAT though.

I had so many good New Year's Resolutions. Don't we all? I was going to blog once a week. Yeah. I was going to run/walk/bike 500 miles. But some health issues have blocked that way for a little bit. It's hard to not be overwhelmed! The past few days it has really come to a head, so I was kind of mopey today.

But I have also been finding little tiny blessings today. I was looking through my pictures and just tearing up at the sweet baby we have created and kept alive for almost a year. I mean really, look at her! 

She is just the cutest.

I also saw this picture today, and it made me grateful. Even though Cora follows me into the bathroom (ok that is just funny), and whines because she refuses to nap in the afternoon (normal), and choked on a tiny piece of apple and stopped breathing for about 10 seconds tonight which took about 10 years off my life, I am so grateful for where we are. Warts and all. I will take the stresses if it means I can have my little family!

So I guess for now I will try to embrace the "and". I am a whole lot of ands right now, AND that is ok.