The Grief of Growing up.

Cora slept through the night last night.

I'm not even kidding. 10-6... I woke up at 4:30 imagining that she was being smothered by our blankets and pillows, then checked on her and she was just snoozing away in her crib. When she woke up and we realized it was 6 AM we were amazed! Then she ate and went back down until 10 AM.

She is also getting the hang of napping in her crib. Mostly. (As I'm writing this she is wriggling around and grunting... she'll probably be up soon.)

(Her pediatrician told us she needs to nap on her tummy, then sleep at night on her back. She moves a TON at night... takes after both of us!)

So why do I feel so sad at the same time? I just keep thinking of all the times we have spent up, where the only thing that will get her back to sleep is being held. This is still the case usually (we can hear her at night trying to get herself back to sleep), but she is sleeping more and waking up less. She can also lay by herself longer and doesn't need us as constantly.

I read this article that sums up my feelings exactly:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/catherine-naja/the-grief-in-growing-up_b_7206488.html

Every new thing she learns is both a time of excitement and sadness. I miss the teeny tiny baby we brought home from the hospital, but love this cute bigger baby we have now.

Ode to a New Dad.

I forgot to write a birthday post to Brandon. Whoops. So this does double duty!

One of my favorite memories of the whole 2 months of Brandon being a dad is probably the first one I have. Cora was all of 3 minutes old and being weighed on the table. It was cold and bright for her, and she was crying. I was being, ahem, attended to, so I wasn't able to go over and comfort her. Brandon walked over, blocked the light from her eyes, and said, "Hi Cora." And what do you know, she stopped crying, opened her eyes, and looked right at him. It was a very sweet moment. And she has had him wrapped around her finger ever since.

Brandon has been hands on since that first moment. I knew he would be a good dad, but I wondered how long it would take him to embrace the role. NOT LONG AT ALL. He loves it. That first night we didn't know what to do with her, since she wouldn't fall asleep in her bassinet and we were new and exhausted. So we took turns sleeping on the couch with her. We had a whole system so that she couldn't roll away from us and stay up. Plus I don't think either of us slept very well holding her. So this is how I found them at 6 AM on Brandon's birthday.

How cute is that.

I bought him some frozen deep dish pizza from Chicago for his birthday, and they came while we were in the hospital. Seeing this tiny baby now cracks me up, because we thought she was going to be tiny forever. Sad.

Brandon has jumped on this parenting wagon. He has no qualms about talking in weird voices, or reading books to a newborn, or singing songs to her to get her to sleep. His favorite is "Tinies need to go night-night". Sometimes we get the Spanish rendition.

 She LOVES watching him. Always.

 He is the much better swaddler. He actually took the time to Google how to do it and taught me.

 If she isn't swaddled in she loves to fall asleep with her arms under her head.

Brandon is so much more creative with ways to calm Cora down than I am. I'm hoping it's because he sleeps more at night (not his fault, there's only one of us who can feed her), so he has more functioning brain power. But at the end of every day, even if he has been in class for 9 hours, he comes home, puts his backpack down, and picks her up. (Usually from my half asleep half dressed arms.) That is how we discovered she loves being outside at night.

She loves napping with him.

He makes sure to get a lot of face time with her, and talk to her. Melt.

He also wants to make sure her "firsts" are super positive. Like getting in the ocean.

 This one kills me. She's so tiny!

We made him a footprint plate for Father's Day... it was like herding cats getting those tiny feet on the plate. 

But her best present was sleeping 6 1/2 hours straight! Then she got up, ate, and went back to sleep. When she got up again we took a picture to document.

Even a smile!

Happy first Father's Day, Brandon. I knew from the moment the tech said "It's a girl" that you would be a fantastic dad to her. I don't always feel like I deserve a husband as nice as you, but I know Cora deserves the best dad ever. And it seems like she has it.

Cora's 2 months stats

 Cora is getting so big. This is her 2 month picture in her car seat. I love it!

 Brandon sent me this picture while I was taking a nap yesterday. Look at those cheeks!

Today we went to her 2 month pediatrician appointment. I was dreading this for a long time, and it was made even worse by the fact that she was the happiest and most smiley that she has ever been. I told Brandon it felt like taking a lamb to the slaughter.

She was even smiling at the nurse and medical students who were observing. Who is this child?!

Her shots were so so sad, but went OK. She definitely cried, which made me a little teary. But she calmed down a little once I picked her up and fell asleep soon after. It's been 3 hours and she just barely woke up... kind of. Rough day.

(Before we even made it to the car.)

She woke up for a little bit, then fell back asleep on our bed.

Dr. Rub used her as an example of excellent muscle tone to the med students. He picked her up, and while she didn't necessarily like it she did what she was supposed to.
Her stats were:

12 pounds (66.3 percentile)
22.5 inches (50.1 percentile)
She is definitely our little chunky monkey!

Guardian Angels

Last week we were reminded of just how mindful Heavenly Father is of us.

We were driving home from the nearby shopping center- about 4 miles from our home. We turned onto the Lehman Causeway, which is a road that turns into the bridge to take us over the Intercoastal Waterway. We were in one of those rare breaks in traffic where there weren't any cars near us. We just had a little scooter putting away in front of us. Brandon began changing lanes to get around him, then swerved to his left saying "Oh my gosh!". I thought the guy almost hit us, then I realized we hadn't stopped swerving. He went back to the right, then to the left (putting us basically moving horizontally down the street), then right. I realized he had lost control of the car and said the quickest prayer of my life as we went off the shoulder and into the grass. The car had barely stopped when I jumped out and grabbed Cora from her seat. She was a little indignant about being in her seat, but completely unfazed by what had happened.

We had no idea what had happened. Brandon said it was probably the power steering, but we weren't going to touch it until we could get it towed to a shop. Being the millenial that I am, I took a picture of our skidmarks as we sat in the car (which luckily turned on right away, since it was 95 degrees outside):

 As you can see there are skidmarks and some grass torn up where we drove. We were very thankful to be ok.

I decided that Cora and I couldn't wait for the tow truck and however long the repair shop would take. Luckily we were near where our friends lived, and she was at the splash pad near their apartment. I went there, and her husband brought us home. We did get this picture with her little boy. I love Cora's face... perfect grumpy cat.

It was good that I didn't go with him, because he didn't get home until after 9.When he told me that the mechanics were amazed that we didn't roll our car, I wanted to cry. The thought that little Cora could have been in a serious accident was almost too much to handle.They never did find out what had happened. The roads were dry, there were no mechanical errors. But we did replace 2 tires and the front brakes. But I'm now afraid to drive. I have never been afraid to drive, even after totaling my car or spinning out on the ice like I have done. But we need to drive over a bridge to get in and out of Sunny Isles and the idea of going off that road is terrifying. I know the odds are essentially impossible, but still.
We know we were looked down upon by guardian angels, so that we didn't lose control of the car during a worse time. We are so grateful for our safety, and I am now ALL over her car seat restraints. So if I say something about your infant seat restraints, I apologize for being pushy but I am so paranoid now.

2 months- I never want to forget.

- The lint between your fingers. This might totally just be a first time parent thing, but it is hilarious. Where does it come from?! It is everywhere. Her fingers, her toes... I am always picking it out between her fingers and thumb.

- The little noises. Cora has been starting to coo and gurgle, and those sounds are so cute. There are many times where I think she is asleep on my shoulder, and I hear a tiny coo. I pull her down, and she is just happy to be there.

A picture of her talking to me. Much of what we do looks like this.

-Her favorite place to be. I've started calling her "Polly", because she just wants to be on your shoulder like a large parrot. She also loves sleeping on my stomach... which means I don't get much done. But it is so cute.

-Her rolls. HER ROLLS. I love them. She has 3 chins, and many many rolls. She has had to move up a clothes size (sad!) because her thighs are getting too big for a lot of her 0-3 month clothes.

- The way you study everything. We are working on letting her know that it is ok to be alone for a little bit, and it is starting to work! She likes her chair when we make it vibrate, and will talk to the giraffe for like half an hour.

-Her patience with my dressing her. It gets really boring being at home alone. So we dress up a lot and play around with accessories.

I need to learn how to tie a cute bow.

June 7 at church.

 June 14... this perfectly accentuates her fencing reflex.

She is the tiniest supporter of the Barry PA program. (This was the onesie from our pregnancy announcement, made girly.)

Oh little Cora Faye. We love you so. You are getting too big, and so cute and fun. We can't wait for the third month with you.

Some new things about her:
She is learning to kick. She LOVES to kick everything. She also splashes in the bathtub, which is great. Did I mention we now love baths?? Hallelujah!
She usually gets up about twice a night, sometime between 1-3 and then between 5-7. So I feed her both times and Brandon will take her after the second feeding.
She is in 3-6 month clothes (mostly), and size 2 diapers. That is going up a clothes and diapers size in a month.
We usually take about 3 naps a day, and eat about every 2 hours during the day. So not much gets done but it's ok because it's our tiny little life and we love it. She LOVES walks and will stare at everything.

Grumpy Cat.

Ugh, I feel like I've been hit with the exhaustion train again. I know Cora getting up twice from 9-7 or so isn't bad, but still.

Anyway, that's why the blog has been lacking. But Cora has been hilarious lately. Her face is so expressive, and while I know it is her being studious and watching everything she always looks SO grumpy! I say she isn't grumpy because that implies that she is irritable, which she isn't, but she really looks like it.

 One of our friends was holding her at church and was talking to her... Cora didn't even break.

She does smile, we just don't catch it on camera very often. And we can't make her smile, she will just do it on her own. But when she does it is pretty great.

Random May Happenings

Basically just a bunch of pictures of Cora.

There are these swaddlers that are basically baby straitjackets, that are supposed to keep their arms in. This is how I found her...

 We worked on getting her to sleep in her bed for a while... it was so funny and so frustrating to lay her down after taking 45 minutes to get her to sleep then hear a cute little yawn come from the crib.

 So we ultimately decided to buy a swing to help. She thinks the stars hanging from her swing are very interesting.

 I told Cora she was a month old this day, and this was the look I got. Seriously child??

 She has been my little errand helper as I've learned to be a normal human being again. Luckily she will tolerate her car seat.

 She LOVES our bed. And she will sleep on her side longer than on her back. I think she was on her side in the womb.

 We got a little bath chair from friends, and it has really turned around how much she likes baths! She is still a little bit suspicious of them at first, but she doesn't cry. This has been her time to spend with Brandon, which has been a lot of fun. (I help from the sidelines.)

 I just love her blue eyes. And she loves this blanket from her grandma!

 Another picture of her sleeping on her stomach.

 One of the best ways to calm her down is to bring her outside. She LOVES staring at everything.

 And sometimes her dad teases her.

 WE CAUGHT A SMILE ON CAMERA! These do not happen very often, but apparently she is ticklish.

 Not Cora related, but look at that water temperature!

 Rollrollrollrollroll.

 We got caught in the rain one day while coming home from the library... she only got a few drops on her but it was sure offensive.

 Ah yes, this day. Last Wednesday (the 27th) was rough. Cora screamed all day and I couldn't figure out why. I went to get a baby thermometer with this face:

 Then she was OK so I thought we were out of the woods.

 But that lasted for about 20 minutes then she kept crying. It started at 6 AM and went on all day. Oh yeah, and Brandon was gone until 4:30. It was my first REALLY hard day. When Brandon came home I just burst into tears because I was so drained. He took her from me and sent me to Chipotle to detox. I sat there until I felt ready to come back. 

 By the end of the night big cheeks and I were ok.

 The next day I made her wear this shirt so she didn't forget it.

 So, this is what happens whenever we go to a store. She looks totally asleep when we're outside, but as soon as we get into a store her eyes will pop open and she will look around at everything and everyone. She must like it, because she starts screaming as soon as we leave and doesn't stop until I pick her up out of the stroller. It has motivated me to get out more, so she can have that sensory stimulation.

 When she's crying and makes eye contact with me, she will make this face and make a sad whining noise. Sad!

 Her favorite spot. I call her "Polly" because she's basically my little parrot on my shoulder.

 She still has her princess hands. They aren't by her face quite as much (which is so sad!), but she does do things like this when she falls asleep in the car.

 We went shopping for her first day of church. She obviously loved it.

 This is how she falls asleep sometimes, I love it.

 On her first Sacrament meeting, she was a vision in pink. She was an angel, and slept the whole time! Even when a fire alarm went off (luckily not the loud piercing kind).

  We sent this to Dane and Graham saying "Silly face contest!"

 Another non-Cora post, but this was 3 weeks post partum exactly and I fit into my prepregnancy jeans! Which means I could pack away my maternity clothes until next time. Yes!

Funny story, I felt so thin after having her that I tried to put on these shorts the day after we got home from the hospital. Haaaa, yeah right. That was a slap of reality.

 She loves her quilt from her great-grandma Putnam!

 We are taking a picture of her in her carseat every month... she looks about 8 times bigger than her newborn picture!