Some recent sleeping stories.

Brandon has told me that I talk in my sleep a LOT. But he can't remember too much of what I say, it usually has to be something super odd for him to remember in the morning. But within the last week we've had a few funny incidences.

Last Saturday night, Brandon was woken up by me scrambling backwards in bed, trying to get up against the wall, with a look of complete fear on my face. He asked what was wrong, and I said, "There is a man in our room!" I don't know how he fell back asleep after that, but he just got me to lay back down and went back to sleep.

Then, a few nights later, Brandon said I was laughing really loudly in my sleep. (Which is scarier than talking, in my opinion) He tried to get me to calm down by touching my arm. He said I went from laughing to growling at him in about 3 seconds... "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Again, creepy.

This morning we were planning to do a run put on by the Junior High. As I haven't been feeling well, I told Brandon to wake me up. He woke me up at 7:30 by SAYING "It's 7:30." That's the time I have to be to work, so today I thought it was Friday. I was laying on my stomach, and Brandon said I jumped and rolled over in mid air, then sat up really quickly freaking out about how late I was. It took a solid 10 seconds for me to remember that it was Saturday. Phew.

Good to know my personality hasn't entirely been squashed!

I'm not the crazy one.

Brandon's been talking a lot in his sleep. Last night, I was dying talking to him.

He was asleep before me, and just as I was about to fall asleep he says, "62? What the freak!" Then he started laughing, so I assumed he woke himself up.

Me: What were you talking about?

Brandon: I'm only worth 62!

Me: .... No, you're worth 100!

Brandon: Yeah, right! (laughs again)

Me: Ok. (a few minutes later) What do you want to be worth?

Brandon: Well, in order to get a bridge you need to be worth a 74 or a 76.

At that point, I started laughing super hard.

Brandon: What?

Me: You're not this funny when you're awake. And you're not even going to remember this!

Brandon: Awake Brandon is funny!

Me: Yes, he is.

Brandon (putting his hand on my leg between my knee and my shin): Does Awake Brandon touch you there?

Me: Yes.

Brandon: Ew, what a sicko.

Me: Hey, Brandon. How much are the llamas worth?

Brandon (annoyed): I don't know, but they're sleepy!

Hahaha. Brandon's super funny. He does not remember a thing.

Brandon doesn't like to get woken up.

So when Brandon sleeps, I usually bug him to see how far I can go before he wakes up. It's pretty funny, and he loves it. OBVIOUSLY.

So the other day, he was asleep on the couch at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I got up close to his face, and started creeping closer to him. When I got close enough, our noses touched. Brandon opened his eyes, started back, and hit me smack in the nose with the heel of his hand. It hit somewhere between my nose and eyeball. Of course I deserved that, but the funniest part of that whole incident was my mom's reaction... She had been watching the whole thing, and the first words out of her mouth were "Don't you apologize Brandon! She deserved it!"


Lesson learned. Brandon's subconscious is Jason Bourne.

A couple of sleeping stories.

So I haven't talked about sleeping stories for a while, because we've been pretty normal. However, this week I got a little crazy.

Thursday morning, Brandon asked me, "Do you know what you did last night?" I got a little apprehensive, as I remember nothing. He proceeded to say he was woken up by me trying to wake him up by rubbing his chest and saying, "Brandon, Brandon! Did you get it? Did you GET IT?!" He asked what I was talking about, and I said, "The trash truck stuff! Did you get the trash truck stuff?!" He said no, and I rolled back over. He waited a second, and said, "Umm... Camille?" I was completely asleep, and finally stirred enough to say, "Whaaa..." I do not remember it at all.

Then, this morning. Brandon's been not sleeping well, because he gets up super early to do homework. He said he wanted to sleep in today, so I said to not get out of bed until I do. That way, he's sure to sleep in a little bit. So this morning, he said he was touching my hair to be cute. But to me in my half asleep state, I thought he was giving me a noogie so I would get out of bed. So I rolled over and snapped at him, "Ok, BRANDON, you can get up now!" Again, I don't remember that...

These stories are super funny to me, at least.

Olympics on the Brain

Last night we moved our mattress and slept in the air conditioned room. Halfway through the night, I told Brandon, "Hey, I know how our kids can get into the Olympics!"
"Oh yeah, how?"
"We can train them in jaywalking!"
"............ Can they get medals in that?"
"Yeah I'm pretty sure they can!"



I've been watching Olympics possibly too much these past 2 weeks.

Finally, a sleeping story about Brandon.

So most of our sleeping stories have been about my embarrassing things and habits while sleeping. 

Well, FINALLY I have something on Brandon!

So, one night of the reunion I was in Brandon and my room talking to my cousin Brinley. (So if you don't believe me, I have a witness!) Brandon was asleep, and suddenly rolled over. I asked him, "Are you sleeping?", expecting him to just roll back over and go to sleep. Instead, he looked at me and said, "What's with all the beach weather?" Brinley and I looked at each other, and we both realized that he was sleeping talking. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "What's with all the beach weather in Utah?? There isn't even a beach here!" He was quite emphatic on this point. I started laughing, and he groaned and said, "It makes sense!" I told him we'd talk about it in the morning, and he fell asleep. Needless to say, in the morning he did not remember it.

So there we go. I am NOT the only one who talks in my sleep. It only took about a year for him to show it.

The time Brandon laughed the hardest in his life.

So, as mentioned before (now under the label "sleeping stories"), Brandon and I are pretty entertaining when sleeping. Especially when I start talking. This is one of those stories...

Now, I have no idea what this dream was about, but Brandon woke up to me saying, "Ohhh, that's SO cute!!" He woke up, and asked me what was so cute. I pointed toward the wall and said, "She's about to cry!!"

Right as I said that, I woke up.

I immediately knew I was in danger of being made fun of for forever, so I started whining in my half-asleep stupor, "Awwww, don't make fun of me!" over and over again.

I can assure you, I've NEVER heard Brandon laugh that much. He kept trying to suppress it under the blanket, but I heard him burst into laughter a good 5 or 6 more times.

Just another story for our kids to read later and be embarrassed by their mom!

So, apparently I'm a Creep.

So Brandon and I had a funny experience the other night... I decided to have Brandon write it in his own words, in order to truly capture it...

It was a dark and stormy night (literally).  Warn out from the long, studious day I quickly fell into a deep sleep.  Snort..Snort.  What?...what is a little, tiny, creature that resembles a pink behooved animal doing in my bed?  It wasn't a pig as I described, it was my wife Camille!  Her impersonation of a snorting pig was impeccable, spot on!  Soon after the snorting faded away, my mind drifted back to a deep sleep and visions my best friends and I celebrating my victory of the Tri-Wizard tournament with some good, old-fashioned, non-alcoholic butterbeer.  The festivities were rudely interrupted by some creature from the underworld.  I awoke to a large set of slender paws lifting up my pillow and digging around for a lost item.  "Where's my whiteboard?", "I need my whiteboard!" screeched the piercing voice of this ravenous creature.  Frightened and confused at the scene unfolding before my eyes, I was left only to think, "Why would I have this beast's whiteboard, and why would it be under my pillow?"  As my eyes acclimated to the darkness I saw a blurry image of Camille kneeling at the head of the bed looking for her whiteboard underneath my pillow!  "Oh...now I understand...this was no ravenous creature...once again it was my wife Camille!"  As I learned the true identity of interrupter of my dreams I softly said, "Camille, just go back to sleep."  She obeyed without response.  I slowly fell back asleep with a large smile on my face knowing that in the morning she would be oblivious to the happenings of this night.  One thing is for sure Camille is a weirdo in her sleep!  However, she is so cute and funny that I can gladly put up with it.

Disclaimer:  I am in know way, shape, or form saying the Camille is a pig...she simply sounds like one at night sometimes haha!

Probably of no interest to anyone but me...

Brandon and I are violent sleepers. I thought I'd record some of our funnier moments before we learn how to not hurt each other in our sleep.
The second night of our honeymoon, Brandon woke up to hear me saying "No, no, no, no, no!" in my sleep. He woke me up and asked what was wrong, and I Asked him if he had a brother named Angel. He said "umm, no. You just saw my whole family this weekend." I continued to tell him how he had a brother named Angel in my dream, and told him about the dream. He told me to go back to sleep, and I did. A little while later he woke up to me saying, "No no, I just had to tell him about his brother named Angel..." and describing the whole conversation we had just had. Needless to say, he was freaked out. That was only the beginning.
Since then, we have had plenty of fun. Both of us have rolled over in the night and hit each other in the face, leading to a few tears (from me). Or there was the time Brandon tried to reclaim some sheets from my burrito wrapped body. He started pulling just a little bit, and apparently I just lit into him. I told him if he wanted sheets he could ask, and not be so mean about it... Naturally I remember nothing of this.
Fast forward to November 1... We were going to sleep and he conversation went something like this:
Me: good night
Brandon: good night
Me: sweet dreams!
Brandon: you too, hope your clarinet piece goes well!
Me: ....... What?
Brandon: yeah I just had a dream about it while we were talking.
#thingswewishweknewbeforewegotmarried



Ps Brandon's going to be embarrassed when he reads the last story, because I'm sure he doesn't remember it.