Hattie's Birth Story, Part 2- The Tiniest Love.

 For part 1, click here. Warning, that first picture is a doozy.

So, we made it to triage at about 4 and told the nurse about my blood pressure. And, the irritating thing is that she didn't seem to believe me. I know the nurses are supposed to be skeptical, but REALLY? She said "Did you just get the high reading one time?" First of all lady, no. Second of all, I was JUST HERE for hypertension. So I was irritated. But of course my blood pressure was "fine" (140/90, so still high), so she said "Well let me call your doctor and we will try to get you home. We want to keep that baby in a little longer you're only 34 weeks." I just stared at Brandon when she left. Of course we wanted to keep that baby in! But I'd rather not die in the process.

By the time Rita came at about 6:30, my BP was creeping back up. She asked us what we wanted to do (which I honestly loved). I just told her I was worried that my blood pressure would keep spiking higher, and I didn't want it to happen in the middle of the night or something. She said, "I'm starting to agree. So let's get the process of inducing you started!" I was relieved- and a little stressed- so we texted our families.

Then came the kicker. Rita said "Let's scan the baby really fast and make sure that she is still head down". They put the ultrasound wand up to my belly and she was FEET DOWN. She had turned breech again! Rita said, "Well, I guess we need to prep you for a C section now!" She turned to the nurse and told her to get the OR ready, and suddenly it felt like a thousand people were in our tiny triage area. Really it was probably a dozen at the most, but I.was.PANICKING. I laid there staring at the ceiling, trying not to cry. You know the feeling of being alone in a crowded room? I had never understood that until that very moment. There was kind of a buzz around me. I wanted to have a chance to talk to my friends that had had C sections, and to Krystel because she had just had one with Benson. But there was no time, they were prepping me RIGHT THEN. In a move that both made me laugh and was endearing, Rita leaned over and kissed my forehead through her mask. I just tried to breathe while answering all the questions, looking over at Brandon when I couldn't answer one because my brain was going 600 miles an hour.

(Also funny story, the nurse anesthetist looked at Brandon and said, "You look familiar. Do you work in the healthcare field?" When he said he did, she said that he had helped her dad when he had some health issues. She was in the appointments with him. It was at that moment that I was SO glad Brandon is the way he is. Could you imagine if he had been a mean healthcare provider? We knew we'd get extra special care from her.)

When I went to the stretcher, I began to have a real panic attack. I told them I needed to take my mask off, and thankfully they let me. THAT is how bad it was. When we got to the OR Brandon needed to stay outside so they could prep me, and going inside I had the weirdest out of body experience. I remember  being wheeled in and thinking "Wow, the lights are too bright. I need to close my eyes." But I couldn't control my body. I wouldn't talk to anyone when they asked me questions, just shook my head or nodded. I wouldn't look at anyone, just kept my eyes squeezed shut. I followed their directions, just completely mute. I wish I could explain the way that I felt, because it was the oddest thing. It was like an out of body experience. Finally, they said, "Uhh, maybe we should bring Dad back in here." Once Brandon made it in I at least opened my eyes. The surgeon came in and introduced herself to me, but I could only stare at her through my mask. They began poking me to see if I could still feel, and once I was numb they got ready to start the C section. It was 8:01 (according to the messages I saw after the fact). Just before, they said "Wow she's really wiggling!" I asked if they could at least make sure she wasn't head down, so I could avoid this if possible. But alas, she was still breech.

*Skip this sentence if you don't want to hear a description of the C section*

I didn't feel anything at first, but when the surgeon said "Ok, you're going to feel some pressure so keep breathing" suddenly it felt like the most intense baby moving ever.

Then, I heard the tiniest cry. It sounded like a kitten. She was born at 8:05, 4 minutes after it began.

Now, Brandon being Brandon didn't think of what the bottom half of the original picture showed, so when he showed me the picture all I could see was the giant wide open hole in my stomach. It was a very surreal experience, seeing a picture of my surgery as it was happening.

As they brought her over to get weighed, I suddenly got very very tired. I heard them call out her weight, 4 pounds 12 ounces. Then I fell asleep. The next thing I remember hearing is "Mom?" And "Camille look!" The NICU nurse was holding the baby next to me. It was amazing to see the tiniest person I would ever love. And yes, she looks exactly like James.

It's not a great picture of me, but I'm strapped to a table so I'll give myself a break. She. Was. Perfect. And what was interesting was as soon as I saw her, I thought, "Her name has to be Hattie". It was on our list of names but not the one we were thinking when we went to the hospital. But in that moment I knew that had to be her name.

Brandon followed the baby to the NICU, and I went to recovery.

Part 3 coming up next.

Hattie's birth story, part 1- the silent killer.

 It has been 6 weeks since miss Hattie Kay joined our family, but I haven't been able to find the time (or energy) to write down what happened. But don't worry, it's basically seared into my brain so I haven't forgotten anything.

To begin- Cora's spring break was the last week of March. She started back up on April 6, which was also James's first day of preschool. So I wanted to do a few fun things with the kids. We did some fun things, like going to a movie theater for the first time in who knows how long. But the issue of the week was that I noticed my face was super swollen every morning when I woke up. I knew I had issues with swelling at the end of pregnancy, but I still had 6 weeks to go. This was too early! I called my doctor and she said to wait until my appointment on the 1st and we'd see what was happening.

(I took this picture for evidence, and woof.)

My appointment was April 1, so I thought it would be funny to text Brandon afterward and say that he needed to meet me at the hospital. However, the truth was stranger than fiction. When I got to my appointment, my blood pressure was 130/90. My doctor wrote me a prescription for a BP medication, and told me to have Brandon check my blood pressure before and after taking it a few times and write down the numbers. I also had to go get my blood taken to see if I had preeclampsia. On top of THAT, baby was breech. So if I was able to stay pregnant long enough she'd probably turn. The question is if my health stayed stable long enough.

I went to the pool to swim and turn somersaults that night, because I heard that makes your breech baby turn. I'm not sure if it was successful, but it did feel good to be in a cool pool with my giant belly.

I started my blood pressure medicine, but there was a problem. My BP was HIGHER after I took the medicine. In fact, it was higher every time Brandon took it. From Thursday to Friday, it jumped from 130/90 to 160/100. When my doctor called me Friday night to say I didn't have preeclampsia, I said "Well that's a relief, because my husband just took my blood pressure and it was 160/100!" And then I heard the 4 words you don't want to hear from a doctor... "What?! That's not good!" She had me check it again while on the phone, and when it hadn't changed she said, "You need to go to the hospital right now. Do you have someone to watch the kids?" Immediately my hands started shaking. Thank goodness my friend Alison answered the phone when I called her, and they were willing to take the kids until we got home. I told her I didn't know when that would be, but I'd keep her posted and as soon as Brandon could get home he'd come get the kids. Cora cried as we dropped her off, which ripped my heart right out. She could see our stress, even though we had tried to keep that from her.

Date night at triage!

After taking my blood pressure multiple times in triage, they decided to admit me. Since it was midnight, Brandon just stayed there with me. I got an IV, some medicine put in there, and lots and lots of questions asked. It was so fun (sarcasm) to get my blood pressure taken every 15 minutes all night, and the baby's heart rate checked. The checks didn't always line up. At one point, the nurse came in and said "Oh, poor girl you look so tired." It was 3 AM and I hadn't fallen asleep yet! I got this funny picture of Brandon sleeping.

The next morning, Brandon went home to get the kids and my mom drove up from Irvine. I saw her arrive through the smart doorbell, and I'm not going to lie I teared up a little bit seeing her show up. Brandon said he felt the same way, thinking, "The cavalry is here".

I didn't have anything to do. I didn't even bring a change of clothes, thinking I'd be out in a few hours. Thankfully that isn't an issue in the hospital, but still. The best part of the hospital was the Harry Potter marathon on TV. I watched the first 5 movies throughout the weekend. Brandon came to visit and brought me my Kindle and a change of clothes and a toothbrush. My blood pressure stayed in the 150's or 160's, even with around the clock monitoring. I was just glad her heart rate always sounded good when we monitored her. I also got the steroid shots for the baby's lungs, and if you know anything about the steroid shots you know it was a painful experience that left me with giant bandaids in a spot where I couldn't see them.

(Funny story, a nurse came in one night and tried to wake me up for heart monitoring, and I could NOT stir. As she moved me around to wrap the monitors around my belly, I said in a slurred voice, "It's like when you're trying to get a sleeping baby out of the car seat." Haha)

That Sunday was Easter Sunday. Watching videos of the kids doing their Easter egg hunt while I was in the hospital was painful. I cried thinking I wouldn't be out of there for a long time. They couldn't even come visit because of Covid. So imagine my surprise when my doctor said "Good news, we can send you home!" I stared at her, and she said "You're stable enough with the medicine, so I want to give you a chance at home. You need to check your blood pressure a few times a day, and come back if it gets to over 160 or 100. You probably won't make it to next weekend, but we need a few extra days to help her grow." So I called Brandon in happy tears, and said I was ready to get picked up. It was an Easter miracle! As I was wheeled out, I told the nurse, "Hopefully I'm not back before your shift ends!"

When I made it home, I immediately went to the couch and laid down. A few hours later, Brandon took my blood pressure and it was 150/90. He told me to go into our room and lay on my left side, and he'd try it again in an hour. I turned on beach sounds and tried to stay calm and quiet. Hard to do when you're extremely stressed! Brandon came in and checked it, and it was 170/110. Brandon looked at me, and said "It's probably time to go back to the hospital." Now, if I know anything about Brandon, I know he doesn't tell someone to go to the hospital lightly. The only times he's told someone to go to the hospital (outside of work) was literally life or death. I told him, "It's so weird that my blood pressure can go up 40 points and I don't even feel different." He said "That's why it's called the silent killer." That was REALLY helpful to hear while I'm dealing with it.

So my mom took a picture of the 4 of us, and we were off! Appreciate the super swollen eyes.

Part 2 coming up next, in less than 6 weeks.

2021, here we come!

 I have been BAD at blogging for the last year or so! Phew. I really want to be better about it. I'll catch up on 2020 soon because WHAT A YEAR.

Just a funny story to start off 2021. This week I'm limping because I did a Body Pump class at the gym, and have been limping and uncomfortable for a few days (the squats did me in). With that and my ever growing belly, strangers are starting to notice my pregnancy.

I was checking out of Target earlier today, and the cashier asked "Are you about due?" I just had to laugh. She looked like she was in high school, and I didn't want to make her feel worse by saying "About 4 more months!" So I just said "In a bit".

This is what I was wearing.

In addition, I have gotten some funny comments from the kids.

The other day, Cora said "How do you exercise when your tummy is so big?"

James said "Mom, your tummy is too big for your shirt!" Because he could see a little bit of the maternity panel beneath my shirt.

And this morning he walked by, grazing my stomach with his fingers and saying to himself, "Huuuuuuge..."

They keep me humble!

Baby girl is growing well though! 23 weeks and about a pound.

The story behind James' name.

So, my dad texted us today reminding us that it's Grandpa Murphy's birthday. He would have been 82 today, and in a week is Grandpa Myres' 83rd birthday.

It reminded me that I never explained how we came up with James' name. It's a pretty sweet story. Since the kids are tag teaming me at naptime, why not share it now?

I found out I was pregnant 2 days after Grandpa Murphy's funeral. I am not the type to share my pregnancy immediately, but I wanted to tell my family SO bad. I was so sad at the time, and this was a bright spot in our little Sunny Isles life. We did end up telling my family at Thanksgiving (a month later). I thought that since this pregnancy was so closely timed with Grandpa's death, if we had a boy I wanted to give him a middle name that reminded me of Grandpa. Originally I was thinking "Matthew Sheldon".

When I went in to the ultrasound to determine what we were having, I was so afraid of what I was going to find. I hadn't had an appointment in a long time since we were in the middle of moving, and I was so afraid since I was going by myself that I was going to have bad news. I was praying in my head to just have a healthy alive baby, and I swear I felt my grandpa there. I have no doubt that he was teaching our little baby lots of important things, and that he helped to keep me from being too stressed during that appointment. It reminded me of the quote by elder Holland:

As soon as I found out James was a boy, I was reminded of a story I had shared about our pioneer heritage a few months before. One of the families on my Grandma Myres' side was in the Martin handcart company, that started their trek from Nauvoo to the Salt Lake valley too late in the year. The Martin handcart company was part of the Sweetwater River rescue, which is one of the most powerful stories. They were rescued by 3 18 year old boys, who carried everyone across the river. The man in my family was named James Wignall, and he and his family (including 7 kids!) made it to Salt Lake. I knew I wanted to name him after that ancestor. It helped that James has been my favorite boy name for a long time.

But then we kept coming back to the issue of the middle name. I even went back and forth on the first name a few times. Shortly afterwards we found out about Grandpa Myres' cancer, which just seemed so unfair. (It still does.) When I went to Utah in April, Grandpa Myres really wanted to know the name. We didn't have one yet, but I promised that he would be the first to know when we settled on one. A week after we got back, I found out they were putting him on hospice. Normally I wouldn't want to announce a name before the baby is born, because I don't want to announce it then change it. But I knew Grandpa would really want to know! So one night Brandon and I decided to hash it out.

Since James is the only kid we're planning to have while my parents are on a mission, I also wanted to do something to honor that. It was hard to pick a name that represented just one person. So ultimately, we thought giving him the middle name "Murphy" would be a good way to represent everything that was happening at the time. While I had always wanted to name each of our kids after a grandparent or other ancestor, I like the overarching name of Murphy. Next time we have a boy, we'll find another overarching theme name.

I was glad I came up with that, because I called Grandpa and had a quick phone call with him. He kept saying "wow, James Murphy Giullian. James Murphy Giullian!" And that was the last time I talked to him. I had wanted to call him later that month to tell him Cora thought Grandpa Giullian was him, but I missed my chance. So at least I don't need to regret not telling him James' name.

So, there we go. James for his pioneer ancestry, and Murphy for the great grandpas he'll never meet in this life and for the grandparents he'll only get to meet once before he turns 2. For the people I miss most!

The end of this pregnancy.

So, the beginning of Cora's pregnancy was where all the excitement was. Super bad morning sickness, the State Department of Health calling me because I was diagnosed (incorrectly) with Hepatitis B, weird skin problems, etc. Towards the end the only exciting things were my swelling and blood pressure being a problem (for about 3 days before she was born) and a granuloma growing on my finger. Don't google that.

So, since this pregnancy has been the opposite it would only make sense that I would have a much more exciting end. A few weeks ago I found out I failed the 1 hour glucose test, and would have to do the 3 hour test to see if I had gestational diabetes. I had to throw out all soda, juice, cookies, basically anything I craved. (which was a good thing, but still.) The 3 hour test was rough, but I survived. And failed it. So now I have to test my blood sugar 4 times a day, and stay on a lower carb/higher protein diet. At that same appointment, I found out the baby was breech. Little stinker.

So my blood sugars have been pretty good with the low sugar diet, thanks to Brandon's help. He said my levels are so good they're similar to his. Which makes me wonder how bad it was before... but anyway. I also have to battle the insurance companies so that I don't have to pay hundreds of dollars out of pocket for my testing supplies. And now I have a 50% chance of developing type 2 diabetes after the baby is born??? Good grief.

 A week later I went to an appointment and found out the baby was back to his right spot. But I would have to go to the hospital every week for monitoring. He is measuring about a pound bigger than Cora was (one of the worries is that he will be a big baby). I also have stress tests done to make sure his heart rate is good. Which it is, passed with flying colors! So we all survived. Thank goodness for the Beehive in our ward who was willing to come watch Cora and wasn't too phased by Cora's sobbing as we left. So sad, first time I've paid for a babysitter.

The next day, when I went to my OB I found out he wanted me on modified bedrest due to my high blood pressure. Oh, and the baby had flipped sometime in the last 24 hours and was now breech AGAIN. At this point, I'm just laughing. He's making me work for it, that kid!

Thank goodness we live near enough to family that I could call Karen up to come help us. My doctor specifically said no cooking or cleaning, so we were at a loss. She is here to help us get on our feet and prepare for the next few weeks until my mom comes out! And be at Cora's beck and call (according to Cora).

So, I'm almost full term. I'm hoping he is as early as Cora was. At this point, I don't know how much safer he is in my belly as he would be outside... but we will soon see!

(my belly is bigger than this 10 pound watermelon.)

Quarterly Report- 2 years old

I can't even believe it. Cora is TWO!

 (Us before church a few weeks ago.)

Cora turned 2 on Easter, which made it a doubly special day in our house. Well, triply with my parents' 30th anniversary then too. Big day!

Maybe it's the hormones and feelings of mother guilt as baby 2 prepares for his big debut, but I have been thinking of just how sweet of a 2 year old Cora is. People have been warning me about the "terrible 2's", and while she has her moments she is still the best "terrible 2" I've ever known. I can't remember the last time we had to take her out of church because she was throwing a fit. Except when I went up to speak, because she is VERY attached to mom. She isn't a hitter (or worse, biter), for which I am very grateful. We have been talking about how nice babies are to help reinforce positive feelings about baby brother, and so now she calls everything "so nice". Babies, blankets, cars, everything.

She LOVES animals. I'm currently working on making her an animal blanket since 1) I never made her a baby blanket and 2) it is going to be perfect for her. She is totally unafraid of animals, even if she probably should be. Like the barking dogs that we pass on walks. Even these dogs are "so nice".

When she wakes up in the morning, she usually talks to herself for a while and we get her when she starts whining. As soon as I open the door her whining stops and she says in this husky little voice "Hi. I take nap!" Every morning. It is so funny.

She is SUCH a good helper. She wants nothing more than to help sweep. mop. vacuum, or help collect the laundry to wash. If she spills, she automatically gets a towel from the kitchen and cleans it up. We are trying to heap praise on her for that, to see if that helps. The other day my belly was hurting (you can complain about feeling big after 30 weeks right??) and she grabbed a towel from the kitchen, spread it on my stomach, then got my water and gave me a hug. It melted my heart.

She talks SO much. It's kind of funny, she had a babbling stage then started putting together some words and then barely talked. Then she realized that she could communicate her thoughts, and now she is babbling a lot more mixed with her words because she just gets so excited to get her thoughts out. But there are lots of filler words that I still don't understand.

She loves her dad and as soon as we drop him off at work she says "Dad work? Dad home soon?" And then when we get him from work this is her face the entire time:

And then she plays with him all the way until bed time when she screams to get away from him because she just wants me.

Cora Faye, you're going to be the best big sister.

Random March 2017 Happenings.

A photo dump from March.

 Cora loved her bunny ears.

 Cora loves hanging out with us in the morning before work.

 We got a DVD player, and had a party with "baby brother" (the name of her doll).

 Steve and Karen came down one weekend and we got to visit some of the Blossom Trail. It is so amazing and SMELLS SO GOOD! This is an apple orchard.

 

 See? She loves hanging out with us in the mornings.

 25 weeks with baby brother! Still running a few times a week, but barely.

 FINALLY, we could do pigtails. How cute is that?

 We got a pass to the zoo. $75 for the family? Why not! Cora loves animals so it is perfect for her.

 Komodo dragons are creepy, but Cora just stared it down.

 Cutest pigtail crew!

 

 Cora wanted to see the elephants, then immediately ran away to play with her friends. But it was pretty cool!

 One of the best parts of the zoo is that for $3 you can feed the giraffe 3 pieces of lettuce. I thought Cora was going to be afraid of it, but she jumped right in! She was much less nervous than I was.

We're so excited for Bethany to go on a mission!! Puerto Rico is so lucky.

 I ran a 5k one Saturday morning. I was excited because I still broke 45 minutes, which isn't bad when I have a belly bouncing along. 

 Poor sick baby. This climate has rocked her.

 Cora slept in until 10 one day. It was amazing, except she had to be touching me ALL THE TIME so I couldn't do anything.

 I got to take a test for my master's degree early one morning. Luckily I passed!

 We painted nails for St. Patrick's Day, which is Cora's favorite thing.

 Kisses for the nice baby. 

 The library had toddler yoga. It was adorable.

 We got to do the 25 cent trolley one day.

 Music Makers one week was at Bravo Farms, which had a tree house and an alpaca to feed. What else could Cora want?