2019 in Review

I haven't done a year in review in a while, but since I have been terrible at blogging this year....
I like to take the new year to reflect on the year. And 2019 was a DOOZY.

We had some really hard times this year.
At the beginning of the year, I wasn't sure if I could run more than a mile ever again. I was going to physical therapy every week and felt like it would never end.
In January, I was called by my doctor and told that my bloodwork came back positive for an autoimmune disease. It looked like lupus. Now, if you don't know, when I was pregnant with Cora I was mistakenly diagnosed with Hep B before they realized it was a lab error. So, thinking there was no way I would be misdiagnosed again. For 2 months I struggled with this while waiting for meetings with specialists, only to find out it WAS a false positive. So, there you go. If I ever have cancer I won't believe it.

In February the kids and I were the sickest we have ever been (simultaneously). James was on his way to getting his ear tubes, and I didn't realize Cora could still get ear infections until she started bleeding out of her ears. Thank goodness for Brandon who didn't panic when he saw it. Meanwhile I had a sinus infection and some virus.

In March James got his ear tubes. He had had 4 back to back ear infections. It was so sad to let him go with Brandon, and apparently he cried for me the whole time he was recovering. But by the time they got home he was ready to run around in the backyard (even though we're supposed to have them rest the rest of the day), so he was fine.

(Before and after, more or less)
In April we had possibly the worst Easter ever. Brandon is too modest to admit this, but he saved his dad's life. He told him to go to the hospital and turns out Steve needed emergency heart surgery. Not a good birthday weekend for Brandon since he nearly lost his dad.

In August, we found out that Cora's ear tubes falling out (in May) meant that her ears filled back up with fluid and her hearing was compromised again. I was gutted. I was SURE that we had left this behind us! They called us and scheduled it for August 20 (definitely not a coincidence).

In August, Brandon's car was backed into while he was in a meeting for Elder's Quorum. In September, we were hit hard while driving home from Taylor and Emily's wedding. We weren't sure if the van was totaled. Someone ran the stop sign and hit us, and took away our feelings of safety when approaching any 4 way stop.
In September and October, we had a bout of sickness that NEVER seemed to end. First Brandon got it, then I did, and back and forth. I had pharyngitis, bronchitis, and pink eye. I actually coughed so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eyeball. Turns out that can happen.

(Gross picture ahead) 

On top of all these things, I have struggled a LOT with my anxiety. In the beginning of the year, I was waking Brandon up 4-5 times  NIGHT because I was convinced that someone was breaking into our house. It comes and goes in waves, but that was the worst of it.
It is easy to see how looking at all of those things would make me want to crawl into a hole and not come out... but thank goodness that wasn't our whole year!
We started out the year on an AMAZING note, moving into our first home on January 1. The kids have absolutely LOVED having a backyard, and I tell Brandon at least once a week that I never want to go back to an apartment or condo.

My injury from the end of 2018 has healed, and I can run, jump on the trampoline, squat, and do everything I couldn't before.

(My first post physical therapy 5k)

We are all healthy now! Minus coughs and colds. No pink eye or lupus to be found.
This year we got to see TWO things that we have been waiting for years to see. We got to see Muse in March, and HAMILTON in November. Both are also things that have gotten Brandon out of the hole. (Just kidding, except for Muse. He's owed me since 2013 for that one.)

We had friends come visit in May! We are ALWAYS down for people to come visit, so do it!

This summer was really one for the books. In May we got to pick blueberries a LOT. U Pick blueberries is my new favorite thing to do, so come visit us around Memorial Day!

 We got to swim. A LOT.

Cora (and James) took swimming lessons, and Cora overcame her fear of the water and now can swim without a floatie.

 Obviously the highlight of the summer was my parents coming home from their mission. We're grateful for their example, and even more grateful that we don't need to renew our passports to go see them anymore. We have seen them four times since they came home! Just for fun!

We got to spend time with a lot of family in July.

We even got to see a new national park! We took a slight detour to see Kolob Canyon in Zion National Park.

We went to the beach with my family to celebrate being together for the first time in 3 years.

(As a not unimportant side note, Steve recovered from his heart surgery and is doing amazingly! For which we are very grateful)

We got to celebrate 8 years of marriage.

Brandon's brother Taylor got married, so I got another Giullian girl in the family!

Our cars WERE eventually fixed. Even though it took the van a week longer than expected, and the rental situation was not ideal.

Cora started a new dance class and LOVES it. It has been so fun for her to learn to follow directions and overcome her shyness.

Brandon and I got to go on our first trip away without the kids ever.

 As a personal victory, I think that regular exercise and cutting down on screen time has helped me with my mental health. It also helped me accomplish a New Year's resolution of FINALLY losing the baby weight from James.

 I also got to start working a few times a month as a substitute teacher. It has (generally) been a good experience, and it is helpful to my mental health. Turns out I miss the kids after I work all day.

And I got to end the year seeing Gabrielle after nearly 7 years!

Really, it depends on what we focused on for this year. For me, I'm going to focus on the positives. We are not starting the new year exactly how I thought we would, but we are healthy, safe, happy, and together. 2020 is our year!

Kindergarten.

For summer school, I've worked in a kindergarten class. It has been THE BEST. There are quite a few different needs there than I'm used to with working in mainly upper elementary school ages, but it's way fun.

I've  never really understood the phrase "herding cats" until I tried to help them walk down the hall.

SOMEONE GET ME INTO ONE OF THOSE FOR NEXT YEAR STAT!

I survived!

Well, I just checked out of my offices at both of my schools. Which means, I am DONE with my first year of teaching!

When I walked out of school today without my keys or any files on hand, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulder. It hasn't really hit me that I'm done though! I got to say goodbye to a lot of the people that I've gotten to know. I'll be sad to leave them. It's been such a bizarre year, and one that everyone said was super hard in general, let alone being between two schools and your first year.

I'm so grateful for the prayers and support that I've gotten this year. It's been the hardest things I've ever had to do. Brandon especially has been amazing. He's cooked, cleaned, done laundry, and everything I haven't had the energy to do after school. But I've learned so much, and I really do want to get a job next year in Miami so I can continue to grow and learn like this... and I mean as long as we don't have kids I can work at this pace. Props to all the other teachers I know, who manage to have balanced lives outside of school. How do you do that??

Note to self: The end of the school year takes a LONG time. Give yourself enough time to finish everything. Like 2 weeks of kind of long nights, instead of a week of crazy long nights. Just saying!

Pride.

Ok, I'll admit it, I'm a prideful person. I hate to admit it, because nobody wants to. But I know my stubbornness causes issues at times...

So, that's why I'm pretty sure I got this job. Because for the last 9 months I've learned a lot about pride and humbled, realized I don't have all the answers. But this isn't about my job.

So back in September I signed up for the Famous Idaho Potato Half Marathon. I'd been thrown into a really difficult teaching year, and I told myself that I would do this to prove that I could not only do hard things, but do hard things and keep a balanced lifestyle. Plus, when I signed up everyone told me things should calm down after Spud Harvest... then Thanksgiving... then Christmas... then President's Day... then they just said hang on for the ride.

THAT DID NOT PAN OUT.

I have TRIED so hard to run a lot over the last few months, but as my year has gone on I've really been struggling just to stay afloat. Seriously, how do people have a balanced life and do things after work?? So, I have not been running a whole lot. In addition, I've been getting more stressed about my long runs. I'm not mentally tough enough to do it yet, especially when I get off work after a 10-11 hour day and am so mentally exhausted. But, I told myself, "I can do hard things. So I can do this half." And here we are, a week from the half marathon, and I just now decided that keeping my pride up is not worth damaging my body. Even if I ran the half marathon, I would not enjoy it and I would risk serious damage to myself.

I hate it. I feel like a failure as a runner. I told Brandon that I HAD to do this! I was sooooo set on it for the entire school year... and I feel like I let him down. This has actually been a hard choice for me. But I decided that I will run the 10k instead. I know I can do that, and I will be able to enjoy myself at the end of the day. And besides, this weekend will be so fun even without me killing myself over a half marathon. I'll have 3 whole days with Brandon, we'll go to Boise and see friends, go visit a new temple (#18 for us), and a 10k isn't much to cough at. A few tears may have been shed as I finally admitted to myself that I was wrong... and that Brandon was right as he asked me if the 10k would be better. And Brandon loves it when I tell him he's right. He told me he doesn't regard me as a failure, but someone who was overwhelmed with work.

So, there you have it. I'm running a 10K next weekend. But don't worry, I've found a new option for a half marathon later this year...

http://www.halfmarathons.net/usa_half_marathons_florida_jewfish_creek_bridge_run_half_marathon.html

Thankful List '13- Days 1-3

I'm just going to do a thankful list this year, but doing one every day will be nuts. But, I think grouping these posts together will work well. I definitely have a lot to be thankful for.

Day 1- I'm thankful for my job. That feeling changes about 4 times a day, but right now I am feeling positive and confident in my job. I am learning how to balance everything. The last few weeks I've felt like I've been doing OK. Just learning to get through it, and as long as I don't feel like I'm forgetting something major I'm ok. It's also stretching me as far as I can go. I'm finally learning how to work as hard as I can, which is something that was long overdue.
Sure, my job isn't ideal. I have a headache every day, but I'm doing it!
Best of all, I LOVE my kids. I told them the other day what I was going to be for Halloween, but I just gave them clues.  One girl whispered in my ear, "I don't remember his name, but are you going to be the guy from Where's Waldo?" I laughed really hard at that.
The other day my class was talking about how they didn't want to live anywhere near an ocean because they would get eaten by sharks. I said, "No, that's not true. I lived by an ocean for almost 20 years and I never saw a shark in the water!" They said, "WOW! 20 years?? You must be almost 40!!" Major sad face.

Day 2- I'm thankful for my two missionary brothers. It's pretty rough to have 2 brothers out at the same time, especially with all the fun time I've had with them just before they left. I loved having Austin come up and visit his freshman year, and it was even more touching to walk in on him in our guest bedroom one time and find him reading his scriptures. Dallin came up to Idaho for almost a week last summer, and it was so fun to go out to Twin Falls with him. I didn't realize that would be the only summer we would have him visiting us up here, otherwise I would have done more fun things with him. Both of my brothers are my heroes, because of how hard they are working on their missions. We just celebrated Austin's 21st birthday, and it makes me so happy that he'll be home soon. My heart won't be complete until they're both honorably home.

 Bahahaha Austin as Jason... he never took that off.

 Day 3- I'm so thankful for the power of prayer. Just a preface on that. For those who don't know, my uncle Wes suffered a brain hemorrhage from a disease he had that he didn't know he had, called AVM. He was on business in NYC, which saved his life ultimately. It was touch and go for a while, but he managed to pull through, and make it through rehab in record time. It is amazing to see that the power of prayer works. Every day since it happens I have been thankful for his progress, and have tried to stay optimistic even when it didn't seem too good. We sure love Wes, and I am SO glad we got to spend time together this summer. We went to dinner with them  at the end of July, and it was so fun to see Wes' old stomping grounds in Idaho Falls. I'm thankful for his recovery and the power of the prayers that went into strengthening him and his family.

Halloween 2013

Halloween was low key this year. Again. We just have a hard time planning it when Halloween falls on a day when we don't see each other at all. The next time we get to go to a Halloween party, we are going to go ALL OUT.

But, this year wasn't too bad. The Special Ed teacher and aides at school usually plan a group costume, and as usual Brandon helped me come up with the theme.

Where's Waldo! I couldn't find a shirt that had red and white stripes, so I just improvised with a white shirt from DI and red duct tape. It was a success, even the kids told me "Hey, you look like the guy from Where's Waldo!"

But here's the 3 Waldos, one of my aides was a baseball player.

Side note: I made the hat. I figured out how to make a pom pom... I smell an etsy sale.

Brandon was even less ready for Halloween than I was... he wore an orange shirt under his scrubs and called it good.

I did get home and find something to keep me from going trick or treating:

We will dress up again someday, but for now we'll settle for taking selfies.

Brandon went to the temple while I was at work. He said he wants to make it a tradition, because what better way to clown rate Halloween than by doing work for the dead? He's so righteous. Love him!