Hattie's Birth Story, Part 2- The Tiniest Love.

 For part 1, click here. Warning, that first picture is a doozy.

So, we made it to triage at about 4 and told the nurse about my blood pressure. And, the irritating thing is that she didn't seem to believe me. I know the nurses are supposed to be skeptical, but REALLY? She said "Did you just get the high reading one time?" First of all lady, no. Second of all, I was JUST HERE for hypertension. So I was irritated. But of course my blood pressure was "fine" (140/90, so still high), so she said "Well let me call your doctor and we will try to get you home. We want to keep that baby in a little longer you're only 34 weeks." I just stared at Brandon when she left. Of course we wanted to keep that baby in! But I'd rather not die in the process.

By the time Rita came at about 6:30, my BP was creeping back up. She asked us what we wanted to do (which I honestly loved). I just told her I was worried that my blood pressure would keep spiking higher, and I didn't want it to happen in the middle of the night or something. She said, "I'm starting to agree. So let's get the process of inducing you started!" I was relieved- and a little stressed- so we texted our families.

Then came the kicker. Rita said "Let's scan the baby really fast and make sure that she is still head down". They put the ultrasound wand up to my belly and she was FEET DOWN. She had turned breech again! Rita said, "Well, I guess we need to prep you for a C section now!" She turned to the nurse and told her to get the OR ready, and suddenly it felt like a thousand people were in our tiny triage area. Really it was probably a dozen at the most, but I.was.PANICKING. I laid there staring at the ceiling, trying not to cry. You know the feeling of being alone in a crowded room? I had never understood that until that very moment. There was kind of a buzz around me. I wanted to have a chance to talk to my friends that had had C sections, and to Krystel because she had just had one with Benson. But there was no time, they were prepping me RIGHT THEN. In a move that both made me laugh and was endearing, Rita leaned over and kissed my forehead through her mask. I just tried to breathe while answering all the questions, looking over at Brandon when I couldn't answer one because my brain was going 600 miles an hour.

(Also funny story, the nurse anesthetist looked at Brandon and said, "You look familiar. Do you work in the healthcare field?" When he said he did, she said that he had helped her dad when he had some health issues. She was in the appointments with him. It was at that moment that I was SO glad Brandon is the way he is. Could you imagine if he had been a mean healthcare provider? We knew we'd get extra special care from her.)

When I went to the stretcher, I began to have a real panic attack. I told them I needed to take my mask off, and thankfully they let me. THAT is how bad it was. When we got to the OR Brandon needed to stay outside so they could prep me, and going inside I had the weirdest out of body experience. I remember  being wheeled in and thinking "Wow, the lights are too bright. I need to close my eyes." But I couldn't control my body. I wouldn't talk to anyone when they asked me questions, just shook my head or nodded. I wouldn't look at anyone, just kept my eyes squeezed shut. I followed their directions, just completely mute. I wish I could explain the way that I felt, because it was the oddest thing. It was like an out of body experience. Finally, they said, "Uhh, maybe we should bring Dad back in here." Once Brandon made it in I at least opened my eyes. The surgeon came in and introduced herself to me, but I could only stare at her through my mask. They began poking me to see if I could still feel, and once I was numb they got ready to start the C section. It was 8:01 (according to the messages I saw after the fact). Just before, they said "Wow she's really wiggling!" I asked if they could at least make sure she wasn't head down, so I could avoid this if possible. But alas, she was still breech.

*Skip this sentence if you don't want to hear a description of the C section*

I didn't feel anything at first, but when the surgeon said "Ok, you're going to feel some pressure so keep breathing" suddenly it felt like the most intense baby moving ever.

Then, I heard the tiniest cry. It sounded like a kitten. She was born at 8:05, 4 minutes after it began.

Now, Brandon being Brandon didn't think of what the bottom half of the original picture showed, so when he showed me the picture all I could see was the giant wide open hole in my stomach. It was a very surreal experience, seeing a picture of my surgery as it was happening.

As they brought her over to get weighed, I suddenly got very very tired. I heard them call out her weight, 4 pounds 12 ounces. Then I fell asleep. The next thing I remember hearing is "Mom?" And "Camille look!" The NICU nurse was holding the baby next to me. It was amazing to see the tiniest person I would ever love. And yes, she looks exactly like James.

It's not a great picture of me, but I'm strapped to a table so I'll give myself a break. She. Was. Perfect. And what was interesting was as soon as I saw her, I thought, "Her name has to be Hattie". It was on our list of names but not the one we were thinking when we went to the hospital. But in that moment I knew that had to be her name.

Brandon followed the baby to the NICU, and I went to recovery.

Part 3 coming up next.

Hattie's birth story, part 1- the silent killer.

 It has been 6 weeks since miss Hattie Kay joined our family, but I haven't been able to find the time (or energy) to write down what happened. But don't worry, it's basically seared into my brain so I haven't forgotten anything.

To begin- Cora's spring break was the last week of March. She started back up on April 6, which was also James's first day of preschool. So I wanted to do a few fun things with the kids. We did some fun things, like going to a movie theater for the first time in who knows how long. But the issue of the week was that I noticed my face was super swollen every morning when I woke up. I knew I had issues with swelling at the end of pregnancy, but I still had 6 weeks to go. This was too early! I called my doctor and she said to wait until my appointment on the 1st and we'd see what was happening.

(I took this picture for evidence, and woof.)

My appointment was April 1, so I thought it would be funny to text Brandon afterward and say that he needed to meet me at the hospital. However, the truth was stranger than fiction. When I got to my appointment, my blood pressure was 130/90. My doctor wrote me a prescription for a BP medication, and told me to have Brandon check my blood pressure before and after taking it a few times and write down the numbers. I also had to go get my blood taken to see if I had preeclampsia. On top of THAT, baby was breech. So if I was able to stay pregnant long enough she'd probably turn. The question is if my health stayed stable long enough.

I went to the pool to swim and turn somersaults that night, because I heard that makes your breech baby turn. I'm not sure if it was successful, but it did feel good to be in a cool pool with my giant belly.

I started my blood pressure medicine, but there was a problem. My BP was HIGHER after I took the medicine. In fact, it was higher every time Brandon took it. From Thursday to Friday, it jumped from 130/90 to 160/100. When my doctor called me Friday night to say I didn't have preeclampsia, I said "Well that's a relief, because my husband just took my blood pressure and it was 160/100!" And then I heard the 4 words you don't want to hear from a doctor... "What?! That's not good!" She had me check it again while on the phone, and when it hadn't changed she said, "You need to go to the hospital right now. Do you have someone to watch the kids?" Immediately my hands started shaking. Thank goodness my friend Alison answered the phone when I called her, and they were willing to take the kids until we got home. I told her I didn't know when that would be, but I'd keep her posted and as soon as Brandon could get home he'd come get the kids. Cora cried as we dropped her off, which ripped my heart right out. She could see our stress, even though we had tried to keep that from her.

Date night at triage!

After taking my blood pressure multiple times in triage, they decided to admit me. Since it was midnight, Brandon just stayed there with me. I got an IV, some medicine put in there, and lots and lots of questions asked. It was so fun (sarcasm) to get my blood pressure taken every 15 minutes all night, and the baby's heart rate checked. The checks didn't always line up. At one point, the nurse came in and said "Oh, poor girl you look so tired." It was 3 AM and I hadn't fallen asleep yet! I got this funny picture of Brandon sleeping.

The next morning, Brandon went home to get the kids and my mom drove up from Irvine. I saw her arrive through the smart doorbell, and I'm not going to lie I teared up a little bit seeing her show up. Brandon said he felt the same way, thinking, "The cavalry is here".

I didn't have anything to do. I didn't even bring a change of clothes, thinking I'd be out in a few hours. Thankfully that isn't an issue in the hospital, but still. The best part of the hospital was the Harry Potter marathon on TV. I watched the first 5 movies throughout the weekend. Brandon came to visit and brought me my Kindle and a change of clothes and a toothbrush. My blood pressure stayed in the 150's or 160's, even with around the clock monitoring. I was just glad her heart rate always sounded good when we monitored her. I also got the steroid shots for the baby's lungs, and if you know anything about the steroid shots you know it was a painful experience that left me with giant bandaids in a spot where I couldn't see them.

(Funny story, a nurse came in one night and tried to wake me up for heart monitoring, and I could NOT stir. As she moved me around to wrap the monitors around my belly, I said in a slurred voice, "It's like when you're trying to get a sleeping baby out of the car seat." Haha)

That Sunday was Easter Sunday. Watching videos of the kids doing their Easter egg hunt while I was in the hospital was painful. I cried thinking I wouldn't be out of there for a long time. They couldn't even come visit because of Covid. So imagine my surprise when my doctor said "Good news, we can send you home!" I stared at her, and she said "You're stable enough with the medicine, so I want to give you a chance at home. You need to check your blood pressure a few times a day, and come back if it gets to over 160 or 100. You probably won't make it to next weekend, but we need a few extra days to help her grow." So I called Brandon in happy tears, and said I was ready to get picked up. It was an Easter miracle! As I was wheeled out, I told the nurse, "Hopefully I'm not back before your shift ends!"

When I made it home, I immediately went to the couch and laid down. A few hours later, Brandon took my blood pressure and it was 150/90. He told me to go into our room and lay on my left side, and he'd try it again in an hour. I turned on beach sounds and tried to stay calm and quiet. Hard to do when you're extremely stressed! Brandon came in and checked it, and it was 170/110. Brandon looked at me, and said "It's probably time to go back to the hospital." Now, if I know anything about Brandon, I know he doesn't tell someone to go to the hospital lightly. The only times he's told someone to go to the hospital (outside of work) was literally life or death. I told him, "It's so weird that my blood pressure can go up 40 points and I don't even feel different." He said "That's why it's called the silent killer." That was REALLY helpful to hear while I'm dealing with it.

So my mom took a picture of the 4 of us, and we were off! Appreciate the super swollen eyes.

Part 2 coming up next, in less than 6 weeks.

2021, here we come!

 I have been BAD at blogging for the last year or so! Phew. I really want to be better about it. I'll catch up on 2020 soon because WHAT A YEAR.

Just a funny story to start off 2021. This week I'm limping because I did a Body Pump class at the gym, and have been limping and uncomfortable for a few days (the squats did me in). With that and my ever growing belly, strangers are starting to notice my pregnancy.

I was checking out of Target earlier today, and the cashier asked "Are you about due?" I just had to laugh. She looked like she was in high school, and I didn't want to make her feel worse by saying "About 4 more months!" So I just said "In a bit".

This is what I was wearing.

In addition, I have gotten some funny comments from the kids.

The other day, Cora said "How do you exercise when your tummy is so big?"

James said "Mom, your tummy is too big for your shirt!" Because he could see a little bit of the maternity panel beneath my shirt.

And this morning he walked by, grazing my stomach with his fingers and saying to himself, "Huuuuuuge..."

They keep me humble!

Baby girl is growing well though! 23 weeks and about a pound.