2019 in Review

I haven't done a year in review in a while, but since I have been terrible at blogging this year....
I like to take the new year to reflect on the year. And 2019 was a DOOZY.

We had some really hard times this year.
At the beginning of the year, I wasn't sure if I could run more than a mile ever again. I was going to physical therapy every week and felt like it would never end.
In January, I was called by my doctor and told that my bloodwork came back positive for an autoimmune disease. It looked like lupus. Now, if you don't know, when I was pregnant with Cora I was mistakenly diagnosed with Hep B before they realized it was a lab error. So, thinking there was no way I would be misdiagnosed again. For 2 months I struggled with this while waiting for meetings with specialists, only to find out it WAS a false positive. So, there you go. If I ever have cancer I won't believe it.

In February the kids and I were the sickest we have ever been (simultaneously). James was on his way to getting his ear tubes, and I didn't realize Cora could still get ear infections until she started bleeding out of her ears. Thank goodness for Brandon who didn't panic when he saw it. Meanwhile I had a sinus infection and some virus.

In March James got his ear tubes. He had had 4 back to back ear infections. It was so sad to let him go with Brandon, and apparently he cried for me the whole time he was recovering. But by the time they got home he was ready to run around in the backyard (even though we're supposed to have them rest the rest of the day), so he was fine.

(Before and after, more or less)
In April we had possibly the worst Easter ever. Brandon is too modest to admit this, but he saved his dad's life. He told him to go to the hospital and turns out Steve needed emergency heart surgery. Not a good birthday weekend for Brandon since he nearly lost his dad.

In August, we found out that Cora's ear tubes falling out (in May) meant that her ears filled back up with fluid and her hearing was compromised again. I was gutted. I was SURE that we had left this behind us! They called us and scheduled it for August 20 (definitely not a coincidence).

In August, Brandon's car was backed into while he was in a meeting for Elder's Quorum. In September, we were hit hard while driving home from Taylor and Emily's wedding. We weren't sure if the van was totaled. Someone ran the stop sign and hit us, and took away our feelings of safety when approaching any 4 way stop.
In September and October, we had a bout of sickness that NEVER seemed to end. First Brandon got it, then I did, and back and forth. I had pharyngitis, bronchitis, and pink eye. I actually coughed so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eyeball. Turns out that can happen.

(Gross picture ahead) 

On top of all these things, I have struggled a LOT with my anxiety. In the beginning of the year, I was waking Brandon up 4-5 times  NIGHT because I was convinced that someone was breaking into our house. It comes and goes in waves, but that was the worst of it.
It is easy to see how looking at all of those things would make me want to crawl into a hole and not come out... but thank goodness that wasn't our whole year!
We started out the year on an AMAZING note, moving into our first home on January 1. The kids have absolutely LOVED having a backyard, and I tell Brandon at least once a week that I never want to go back to an apartment or condo.

My injury from the end of 2018 has healed, and I can run, jump on the trampoline, squat, and do everything I couldn't before.

(My first post physical therapy 5k)

We are all healthy now! Minus coughs and colds. No pink eye or lupus to be found.
This year we got to see TWO things that we have been waiting for years to see. We got to see Muse in March, and HAMILTON in November. Both are also things that have gotten Brandon out of the hole. (Just kidding, except for Muse. He's owed me since 2013 for that one.)

We had friends come visit in May! We are ALWAYS down for people to come visit, so do it!

This summer was really one for the books. In May we got to pick blueberries a LOT. U Pick blueberries is my new favorite thing to do, so come visit us around Memorial Day!

 We got to swim. A LOT.

Cora (and James) took swimming lessons, and Cora overcame her fear of the water and now can swim without a floatie.

 Obviously the highlight of the summer was my parents coming home from their mission. We're grateful for their example, and even more grateful that we don't need to renew our passports to go see them anymore. We have seen them four times since they came home! Just for fun!

We got to spend time with a lot of family in July.

We even got to see a new national park! We took a slight detour to see Kolob Canyon in Zion National Park.

We went to the beach with my family to celebrate being together for the first time in 3 years.

(As a not unimportant side note, Steve recovered from his heart surgery and is doing amazingly! For which we are very grateful)

We got to celebrate 8 years of marriage.

Brandon's brother Taylor got married, so I got another Giullian girl in the family!

Our cars WERE eventually fixed. Even though it took the van a week longer than expected, and the rental situation was not ideal.

Cora started a new dance class and LOVES it. It has been so fun for her to learn to follow directions and overcome her shyness.

Brandon and I got to go on our first trip away without the kids ever.

 As a personal victory, I think that regular exercise and cutting down on screen time has helped me with my mental health. It also helped me accomplish a New Year's resolution of FINALLY losing the baby weight from James.

 I also got to start working a few times a month as a substitute teacher. It has (generally) been a good experience, and it is helpful to my mental health. Turns out I miss the kids after I work all day.

And I got to end the year seeing Gabrielle after nearly 7 years!

Really, it depends on what we focused on for this year. For me, I'm going to focus on the positives. We are not starting the new year exactly how I thought we would, but we are healthy, safe, happy, and together. 2020 is our year!

James Quarterly Report- 2 years 3 months.

Well, since James is almost 2 1/2 years, I thought I'd share this 3 months late.

The biggest event in James's first 3 months after his birthday is qualifying for speech therapy services. He just barely qualified, which was a relief for me. 1, that he is doing so well and 2, that we got him in just in time so he can get help!
It was funny, they kept asking why he talked in a Darth Vader voice. I'm glad we aren't the only people to notice that.

 He's pretty snuggly. He loves to come sit in my lap, and is always down for a selfie.
I remember I took this picture the morning after I heard about a heartbreaking story where a 2 year old boy was accidentally shot and killed. (Self inflicted) I was so sick about it, I just sat with James all morning.

 He has been getting sassy. This is his face when he doesn't like what someone else is saying to him.

 James loves his dinos! He calls them "Dine".

James is OBSESSED with playing outside. He wants to go outside all day every day.

 He's still a messy eater. Thankfully he also loves bath time.

He LOVED the beach and family time this summer. He was especially obsessed with Papa.

We sure love our James. He is CRAZY busy, but he's generally just a happy kid. It makes me feel kind of bad when people tell me "I don't know how you handle him" or "man I wouldn't have any more kids if my kid was that crazy". Because I love him just the way he is! If he sat a little bit I'd be even more happy, but he is a happy healthy kid so I will gladly take it.

Cora gets ear tubes, round 2.

So, August 12 was our 3 month followup to Cora's last ENT appointment. At the last one, her tubes fell out so Dr. Lanier just wanted to make sure everything was healing well.

Cora has been nervous about going to the ENT (and she isn't nervous about any other medical appointment she has had) because of the bad memories there, so the whole way up to Fresno I told her that it would not be a big deal. All she would need to do is get her ears checked and then she would be done with the ENT for a long long time!

So, we got there and she played for a while in the children's waiting room before being called back to the ENT.

While Dr. Lanier checked her ears, I told him I wanted to get her hearing checked because some things have just been off. Sometimes we'll talk to her and it's like she's looking at us but not comprehending. She has been off with guessing what letter makes what sound, which she has not had an issue with in the past. As I was explaining this, Dr. Lanier said, "Well, her ears are full of fluid. Let's go to the better microscope to check it out."

 

Sure enough, we got to the other room and Dr. Lanier said her ears are as bad as they were before her tubes. I was SHOCKED. I don't know how that happened, but it makes me feel bad for Cora. She needed ear tubes AGAIN. I thought we were past this?! So, in a daze, we went to In-N-Out to drown our sorrows then went to the zoo for a few hours. I still wonder what I could have done to make it not as serious as it is. Did I not wash her well enough? Should I be putting her ear plugs in when she swims still?

Before we even got home from the zoo, I got a call scheduling the appointment. They scheduled it for August 20. Yes, our wedding anniversary. We had thought of MAYBE doing a spontaneous trip to San Francisco because tickets to Hamilton are super cheap on weekdays and Brandon had the 22nd off, but that ruined our plans.

So, as per our "tradition" (since this is our third trip with ear tubes in 15 months), we went to Yogurtland the night before to try to fill her up. She didn't have to be there until 7:45, which was good because we didn't have to leave so early but also bad since she couldn't eat or drink.

Cora was VERY afraid the morning off. She clung to me and sobbed that she didn't want me to leave her. It did NOT help my nerves at all. But we had her three unicorns there to keep her brave, and since we waited a while we got to read books and take our minds off of it.

 Bless nurses, man. The nurse who was going to bring her offered to let her ride on the bed. Cora seemed a little excited, so we talked up how cool that was. So all I had to do was kiss her forehead and tell her she was brave and good luck and she went off!

 I timed the procedure, and it took 25 minutes from when I left Cora until I was able to go back to recovery. As hard as that was, it continues to help me be grateful that we only have had to deal with 20-25 minute surgeries with no post-op care. We have so many friends with much more intensive surgeries, and just experiencing a tiny taste of that world gives me so much more sympathy for them.

Cora waking up was a little bit tough. She cried a lot saying that her ears hurt, but I couldn't do anything about it. She wouldn't open her eyes (except for a brief second when I came in) so I know she was super out of it.

 She didn't want to wear her shoes, and I couldn't carry her the diaper bag and her things all at once so she got to ride the wheelchair out! One cool thing she will never remember.

Once we made it home and she got some medicine and food in her, she was great. And now we see how effective this round of tubes is! Dr. Lanier said she just has something up with the development of her ear tubes, and we'll see how long it takes for them to grow out of it. I hope this round is more effective so we don't have to worry about more intensive surgeries (like maybe doing adenoid removal).