August

Well, tomorrow is August.
August means wedding.
Wedding means the beginning of a lot of things, but the end of a lot of other things.
So I'm faced with all these conflicted emotions.
I am so happy to be getting married, because being apart from Brandon has been very hard these last few months. I know, I know... "But you spend all your time texting and calling and skyping and writing letters and..." But it's not the same. We've spent the vast majority of our engagement apart, which could be for the better. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But after a while it just gets annoying. I get to see him in 2 1/2 weeks, and it's going to be pretty surreal that the next time I see him in person will be when we are getting married. Just tonight I was texting one of my friends and said "If our husbands play together on the same basketball team we can sit together and be wife cheerleaders". And then kind of freaked out (but in a good way). I'm going to be a WIFE?! What the heck. But at the same time, it's the right thing for me. It's hard to explain. But Brandon's the one for me, so that's the end of it. And I can't wait to be with him.
At the same time, I'm kind of sad to be winding down my time in Irvine. I knew this was going to be my last summer here. And I've really tried to make the best of it. But now that it's winding down, I'm going to miss this place. I have made many friends this summer. A lot of them have been the parents of children that I babysit, but I really enjoy their company. It's nice to see a lot of young moms that are in the place I will be in about 5-10 years. Which is another thing that kind of blows my mind, but I digress. I will miss chatting with them.
I've worked harder this summer than ever before. And that's funny to think about, because I have less to show for it than ever before. But I have bought Brandon and myself round trip tickets throughout the summer, and have paid off 2 full months of rent. and I will save a lot more by the end of the summer. and I haven't worked out this summer as much as I could have. But I have tired myself out every single day. I babysit sometimes 13 hours in a single day, and let me tell you THAT is a workout! I don't know how moms do it. I guess I'll learn someday.
I will miss everyone, but I know this is my next step and it's better to take it now than never.