Thoughts of a First Time Parent

"Is it too hot in here? Do you think she's ok?"

"Look at those tiny fingers!"

"She's been sleeping a long time, do you think she's ok?"

"Is it too cold in here for her?"

"She seems hungry, but I just fed her. Do you think she's ok?"

"Seriously? I just changed you!"

"She's spitting up, is she ok?"

"Her skin is shedding a little, is that normal?"

"Look at how cute she is with her eyes open!"

"She hasn't wet a diaper in a while, do you think she's ok? Oh, never mind."

"Hungry again? You just nursed for 45 minutes!"

"She's awake and not hungry, what do I do with her?"

"Is she ok with all those layers on?"

"What color is her hair?!"

"Is she breathing ok? It seemed to be kind of fast."
"What do you think she's thinking?"
"How are we going to do this by ourselves?"
"She's so cute."
"We just love her so much."
"Do you think she's ok sleeping in her chair?"
"Mom? What does _______ mean? Is it normal?"

Brandon says I have enough paranoia for the two of us.

Introducing...

Cora Faye Giullian.
Born April 16 at 4:29 AM, 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19.5 inches of pure bliss and beauty.

Warning: Long post, and lots of pictures.
I never thought I would want to post a birth story on my blog, but it was such a surreal experience that I want to write it down to remember it.
So, let's start at the beginning.

I had a doctor's appointment Monday the 13th. Everything looked fine, except I had swelled up a lot and my blood pressure was higher than usual (141/81). My doctor took it again, and luckily it had gone down a little (133/87). He told me to have Brandon take my blood pressure twice a day then come back on Wednesday. I was only at a 1, so I mentioned to my doctor that I was hoping to at least wait until the 20th to have her so that I could celebrate Brandon's birthday not in the hospital. Then my doctor said something that shook me up. He said, "I highly doubt you'll make it that long." Where was a paper bag when I needed one?? I walked out to the car in a daze, calling Brandon and telling him everything the doctor said. He kind of agreed but didn't seem to be as concerned. That night I was cramping up, but it went away so I figured that was false labor. I asked Tanner if he would be willing to cover Cub Scouts in the UNLIKELY event that we were getting induced Wednesday night from my blood pressure. That was my biggest concern. I also bought a ton of groceries, finished packing my hospital bag and threw it in the car, packed the diaper bag with things for baby, etc.
Wednesday I went in for another appointment. My blood pressure had been good for the previous 2 days, so I figured that would be the end of it. My doctor checked me again and I was already at a 3. He said that the cramps I had were false labor, and I would feel those from time to time but to go in if they got to be too regular or painful. He also said something about "If you go in tomorrow night you'll need to go to the other hospital I deliver at, I am inducing my wife there Friday morning." We laughed and just kind of brushed it off.
I went about my day with just some soreness and my stomach would keep cramping up. But since I didn't have to get induced that night, I went to scouts. By the time it was time to go I really didn't feel well, so I just asked Tanner if I could drop the scouts off with the Boy Scouts when I was done so that I could go home and rest. I had timed these little contractions and they were about 2-3 minutes apart, but they weren't nearly painful enough for me to consider going to the hospital. But when I was leaving the church, I actually had to stop the car through one of them. That made me realize something might actually be going on. I texted my mom asking if a check could put me into labor, and said, "Who knows, she could be born on your anniversary!" She told me to keep timing them and wait to see what happens. So Brandon came down and we were going to walk to Publix to get their Buy One Get One Free Ben and Jerry's ice cream. It's only 2 blocks away, but before we got halfway there I had already had two contractions that were really starting to hurt. That was the first time I mentioned to Brandon, "Should I go to the hospital?" He said no, and just to wait. He did have a big test that he was studying for which was scheduled for 8:30 the next morning, so I decided to wait.
So while he studied I was watching "Chopped" (My current favorite show) on Netflix, but every few minutes I would get a strong cramp. When it got to the point where I couldn't talk very well through them, I asked Brandon if we should pray to know when we needed to go. While we prayed, I got hit with a pretty strong one that took my breath away. Brandon saw me grimace, and said, "Ok, we should probably go." He threw some clothes into a bag for himself, and we walked out the door sure that we would be back in a few hours with me just being cranky and Brandon being tired and stressed about his test.
During the drive I kept hurting, and they got a little stronger. I tried my best to walk into the ER between contractions, and told them why I was there. Trying to fill out paperwork was fun, let me tell you. But I finally finished it and got to sit down while Brandon filled out a guest pass to visit me at the hospital. Then a nurse came up and had a wheelchair for me. I laughed and said, "Sweet I love wheelchairs!" Or something really clever to that effect. Who knows, I was hurting. As I stood up, I felt another contraction come on then a pop. Sure enough, my water broke. I told the nurse and Brandon, and gave Brandon the panicked look of "We aren't going anywhere!" It hadn't hit me yet, but we both knew we were having this baby tonight. This was at about 10:45 PM.
Getting to maternity triage was not that bad. However, when they were asking me questions, I felt my first strong contraction. OH MY GOSH. I do not understand how people can survive natural childbirth. Any pain since then has not felt so bad. I would actually fall asleep between these 2-3 minute apart contractions because of how exhausted I was. It was like one of those Hollywood movies, except no screaming (you're all welcome).
Needless to say, I got checked into the hospital and was set up for the epidural. Trying to stay still during that time was incredibly difficult. But when Brandon got back into the delivery room, he said I was a totally different person.

Soooo happy to not be in pain anymore.
I REALLY chatted everyone up after the epidural. I was so completely out of it that anything I thought came out my mouth. I told them all about my uncle who is an OBGYN in Qatar, my brother on a mission in the DR, and who knows what else.
The night went on pretty uneventfully. I tried to sleep, but it was hard because that dang blood pressure monitor kept squeezing my arm every 15 minutes. I had to be put on oxygen at some point during the night because her heart rate would drop after contractions. I told Brandon to get a picture of me to show Dallin, because "It looks like a Bane mask!"

They kept checking me and every time I was a little closer. After my epidural I was at a 5, at about 2 AM I was at a 7, then at 4 I was a 9.5. They called Dr. Levin, and when he came in he said, "I told you to not have her Friday morning, I didn't mean you had to go in right away!"
Her birth was without a doubt the easiest thing I could have imagined. Maybe that was the epidural, but really. After one contraction, her head was out. (Side note- I got to feel it. SO weird... TMI? It was cool though.) After the next one, Dr. Levin held up our little baby girl. It was a total of 6 minutes of pushing. I was in disbelief because of how quickly it went, especially since I couldn't feel anything. Brandon got a few pictures of them putting her on my chest.

During the first picture I was saying "Brandon, she's just SO LITTLE!" over and over in a slurred voice.

I don't even know what else happened, but she was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19.5 inches long. Brandon and I had both been up for about 21 hours at this point, but my adrenaline was pumping so much that there was no way I could have fallen asleep after that.

 Getting all checked up on the table.

I'm pretty sure every picture I've seen like this has the exact same expression. Just happiness.

 Brandon was a proud dad. He let me sleep (all I could get in were 5 minutes) while he held her.

We finally got up to our room at about 8:00, after my epidural wore off and I could walk to the wheelchair. But man I was moving SO SLOW. I just remember feeling like I was in a fog.
We got a few more pictures of her in her bassinet while I sat there and waited to feel tired.

Being so reverent.
The next 2 days were a really good time at the hospital. I loved having someone there at the push of a button, even though I felt bad always asking for something. I know I wasn't the most high maintenance patient there, but still.
I didn't realize it but I was SO swollen at the time. I didn't even have an IV in me by the time I left the delivery room, but just all the fluids they pumped in me by then were enough to expand my face quite a bit.

Other things she survived were her hearing test, and her first bath.

She LOVED getting her head washed, but screamed during the body wash part. Afterwards they laid her on my chest for an hour to make sure her body temperature regulated. We both fell asleep there, and I remember waking up and looking down. I just saw this tiny little face turned towards me sleeping. I realized that this tiny face was mine, and not some kid I was babysitting for. It was, again, very surreal.

I couldn't believe she slipped out of this wristband... twice! Her skinny little hands also couldn't keep mitts on. But we found out that they aren't supposed to wear them when they sleep anymore because it's a suffocation hazard.
When they decided to discharge us Saturday morning, I was terrified. I mean, they were sending us home with a BABY. This teeny tiny person was now in our hands!

I held her head up after this picture, so that she would be able to breathe. We were so afraid driving home, but we made it home ok.

I told Brandon that when things get hard we need to remember just how GOOD we feel. This little person has made our home so peaceful. She is so delicate and feminine. Even when she keeps us up at night, I feel the Spirit in our home pretty strongly. My brain is already running on fumes, but I just love her so much. It has helped strengthen our marriage as we have had to already learn to rely on each other. I hate asking for help but I've learned that I can't stay up all night with her. And Brandon is really embracing his role with her, as she realllllly loves him.
I will update more on her first week at home, but the fact that she's almost a week makes me a little teary.

The first week or so- April 2015

My family came into town for a few days at the beginning of April. My mom's trip was joyfully cut short (for her) by the arrival of Graham! But she was here until Tuesday morning instead of Wednesday, so she wasn't cut too short.

They made it here for Sunday General Conference, which was fantastic of course. I fell asleep for most of the afternoon session, and apparently snored a lot. We had a fine Easter feast though- Ham, mashed potatoes, asparagus, rolls... mmm.

Monday we went to the airboat tour that we took Steve and Karen to. This time I didn't go, because I'm trying to avoid having this baby for another week or so. But we did find an alligator before they even got onto the boat.

While they were on the boat, I got some good pictures of the local wildlife.

I made sure that we sat in the front during the reptile show. I know they interact with the audience, and I wasn't disappointed.

He got the scorpion right in my mom's face and talked about how the Emperor scorpion jumps. Obviously (we found out later) he was kidding.

We had plenty of other animals at the show.

Massive toads,

Beautiful cockatoo (which we almost got to see get eaten by an alligator),

3 month old alligator.

I told my mom since she got up close and personal with the scorpion she didn't have to hold the alligator. Bethany and Cole weren't so lucky.

(I might have forgotten to tell them the alligator's mouths were bound before they held them.)

After the airboat, we found la Nueva San Salvador in downtown Miami! Ignore how swollen my face is... I think the heat is making me expand.

We then found the Miami Beach boardwalk, which was a nice walk on the beach. Then we surprised Brandon at Barry and went to Little Havana with Tanner, Alyse and Ezra.

The next morning Mom got dropped off at the airport to go to Dallas to see baby Graham (lucky!) 

(Isn't he the cutest?? I'm biased.)

and we went snorkeling. Or, we tried to. The tide was a red flag with dangerous marine life, this time man-of-war. But we played in the water, then went to my dad's favorite place for lunch:

Burger King.

Brandon got home soon after that, and we decided that we wanted to check out Oleta River State Park. They have kayaking there, and it is pretty reasonably priced.

(Note how the life jacket doesn't fit on me very well.)

So funny story, we had joked about how we needed to be able to get back into the kayak if we fell. We were going down a nice little river, and passing the mangrove trees when a branch got a little too close. Brandon was steering, so I started to say "Turn Brandon, turn, turn, TURN!" It was at the right level where it could have hurt my belly, I leaned to the right, trying to push the branch out of my way. Brandon saw the branch, leaned to the right to get out of the way, and...

The water was warm, luckily. It was muddy, with mud that sank up to your knees. I lost one of my flip flops at one point, and thought it was really lost forever. AND it started raining. AND there were crabs on the shore.

So once we found my flip flop, we had to find a way to get my big old body back into the kayak. Obviously I couldn't climb in there like I normally would, because of my belly. So what ultimately happened was Dad and Cole steadied our kayak, then Brandon went under the water and pushed me up. I then had to scramble onto the kayak (which apparently made me look like I was giving birth... thanks Bethany), and hope that when Brandon got on it didn't make us tip. It was a pretty hilarious story, and Brandon just kept repeating "I tipped my pregnant wife into a dirty river..."

But the view got much better when we got out into the Intercoastal Waterway.

(Side note: the next morning the visitors went paddleboarding- i didn't because if i fell off I could have hurt myself, and not been able to get back on- and saw a manatee right around here.)

After kayaking we all went home to shower (some of us needed it a lot), and then off to the food trucks that are here every Tuesday. We got a LOT of good foods. Again, swollen me.

Hooray, is this baby coming yet?

Wednesday, we went back to Oleta and they paddleboarded. I sat in the shade and read, I figured that was a much more productive use of my time. Then we went to D-Tako for lunch (sorry the experience wasn't that great, but hey it's Miami!), and Brandon got home just in time to see everyone off to Orlando. I slept really well that night, it was exhausting!

Some other moments:

We went to Buffalo Wild Wings with some of our friends from Brandon's program for Trivia night. The winning team gets a $50 gift card, and we won! Thanks to Brandon and Matt's knowledge of anatomy and being willing to bet the max amount. We were in third place before the final question. Woohoo! We are hoping to make it back there at least one more time, we'll see.

I look so flattering! If you can't tell the baby has dropped, I woke up Thursday morning to see that she was WAY lower, and is still hanging out down there. We're hoping to make it at least past Brandon's birthday. We'll see.

Infant CPR and Safety Course

So a few weeks ago, we went to an "Infant CPR and Safety" class that the hospital offered. I've been CPR certified in the past, but wanted to make sure I could remember the correct principles in case I needed to use it. Brandon came (a little bit hesitantly at first), but he was glad he came so that he could learn things about safety. We learned about checking cribs, sheets, things to not have around the house, bolting furniture, foods, etc.

BUT. There was one moment that really made Brandon and I kind of stare at each other. We were discussing how to help a choking infant (under the age of 1), with the back slaps and chest thrusts and whatnot. One of the older women in the class (the grandma to the unborn child), who said she had just retired from being a nurse for the last 45 years, raised her hand and asked, "So, as a last resort or something, would you ever pick up the child by their ankles to try and help dislodge the choking hazard?" I just looked at Brandon. I reallllllllly hope she never tried at as a nurse. Luckily, the course teacher was quick to shut that down. As Brandon put it, "We're trying to save the kid's life, not go through their pockets for change!"

For the record, DO NOT DO THAT.

Final month.

I have hit the wall with this pregnancy.

I still love this little girl (obviously), but I'm pretty sure she is trying to kill me from the inside out. I have what feels like a broken rib, where she likes to nestle her little kneecaps. I'm still going on walks, but basically because my doctor is a crazy person about my weight gain and makes me feel bad at every appointment. But walking on the beach makes it feel better.

(5 weeks to go and starting to feel large.)

Not to mention the heartburn that almost makes me throw up, the snoring that drove poor Brandon to the couch last night, and the ever mounting nerves over the fact that we are going to have a CHILD in our lives soon!

But then I have little moments like this.

Our friends down here just had a baby on Wednesday, and I got to spend a few hours just snuggling him. While I hope Baby isn't going to pop out at 9 pounds like Chip did, it was nice to snuggle with him and know that it will be ok soon. Right?

She didn't like sharing space though, and I felt her kick/knee him a few times. He is a fairly mellow child (granted at 4 days old), so he didn't care.

So, we are just playing the waiting game! I told Baby (no we don't have a name yet, despite everyone's suggestions) that she just needs to wait until Alyse's baby comes then she can come! So we will just have to see.

Heat Game

Surprise, surprise. We found another reason to celebrate our last few weeks child-free! This was also a good compromise for Brandon coming to Wicked... both things that we don't MIND doing, but aren't exactly our scene.

Barry had a PA fundraiser put on by the Heat, where an amount of the proceeds of the tickets we bought go back to the PA program. I'm just glad it was this weekend and not any later, because I was still able to sit through the game just fine.

(I really hate how I have a double chin in a lot of pictures now. Just let me see if I need to retake it!)

But as you can see, we were all the way at the top.

Heat fans are pretty fair-weather. I took this after the game started and it was only half full or so!

Maybe it was because we went to this game during March Madness (which has been CRAZY), but Brandon said this game didn't seem as exciting as usual. Maybe it was the flopping. Like, seriously you're grown men. Dwayne Wade got "hit" at one point, and threw the ball back over his head. Brandon yelled "THIS ISN'T SOCCER!" haha. But karma came back for D.Wade, because later in the game he faked out a guy on the Nuggets, and that player (whoever he was) fell back like the ball had hit him in the face. And Wade got a foul. Heh heh.

But it was very entertaining to go, we liked it! It was on our Miami bucket list, so I'm glad we got to go before little Missy came, so we could go babysitter free.