August

Well, tomorrow is August.
August means wedding.
Wedding means the beginning of a lot of things, but the end of a lot of other things.
So I'm faced with all these conflicted emotions.
I am so happy to be getting married, because being apart from Brandon has been very hard these last few months. I know, I know... "But you spend all your time texting and calling and skyping and writing letters and..." But it's not the same. We've spent the vast majority of our engagement apart, which could be for the better. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But after a while it just gets annoying. I get to see him in 2 1/2 weeks, and it's going to be pretty surreal that the next time I see him in person will be when we are getting married. Just tonight I was texting one of my friends and said "If our husbands play together on the same basketball team we can sit together and be wife cheerleaders". And then kind of freaked out (but in a good way). I'm going to be a WIFE?! What the heck. But at the same time, it's the right thing for me. It's hard to explain. But Brandon's the one for me, so that's the end of it. And I can't wait to be with him.
At the same time, I'm kind of sad to be winding down my time in Irvine. I knew this was going to be my last summer here. And I've really tried to make the best of it. But now that it's winding down, I'm going to miss this place. I have made many friends this summer. A lot of them have been the parents of children that I babysit, but I really enjoy their company. It's nice to see a lot of young moms that are in the place I will be in about 5-10 years. Which is another thing that kind of blows my mind, but I digress. I will miss chatting with them.
I've worked harder this summer than ever before. And that's funny to think about, because I have less to show for it than ever before. But I have bought Brandon and myself round trip tickets throughout the summer, and have paid off 2 full months of rent. and I will save a lot more by the end of the summer. and I haven't worked out this summer as much as I could have. But I have tired myself out every single day. I babysit sometimes 13 hours in a single day, and let me tell you THAT is a workout! I don't know how moms do it. I guess I'll learn someday.
I will miss everyone, but I know this is my next step and it's better to take it now than never.

Taste of Mommyness

Last week I was asked to babysit overnight for a very nice family in my ward while the mom worked and the dad trained for his new job. I knew it was going to be hard when she said her 9 month old twin boys were teething and might be up in the night. She said that they might only be up once, and I could just give them a bottle, but they might get up more than that so she would make a few bottles for both of them just in case.
I went over at 9 PM, and was greeted by one of the babies crying. I just held him and snuggled up with him, and he eventually fell back asleep. My favorite part of that was when he was falling asleep, he rolled over so that he was facing my body, and snuggled back in. Who wouldn't like that?
He went to bed at about 930, and I had some time to kill. I had taken a nap earlier in the day, so I wasn't tired yet. I watched some ESPN and Disney Channel, and just as I was about to fall asleep at midnight I heard crying. Neeeeedless to say, it was the beginning of a LONG night. I got 3 hours of sleep, in 3 1-hour periods. By 5:30, I was about to cry myself. Then I realized, this is exactly what being a mom will be like. I will not sleep for more than a few hours at a time for a long time, and then I will be up all day (I did work 5 hours then come home and take a nap right after that).
So pretty much, I respect all moms. Because at one point they have had newborns, and teething children, and nights where they see just about every hour on the clock. But I did get this cute little picture at about 1 in the morning, when Adam was refusing to sleep (every time I would pick him up he would be so tired he couldn't pick up his head, but he wanted to play soooo bad!)

You can't get mad at a face like that!

The Surprise

So I should blog about everything that's happened in the last two weeks... but I don't feel like it. So I"ll break it up a little bit.
So we drove up to Utah on June 29 for our family reunion. It was kind of rough being only 4 hours away from Brandon and not being able to see him, but I knew I was going to see him in a few days anyway when he flew out to California to be with us for a week.
Thursday morning my mom, grandma, Bethany, and I went shopping. On our way out, my mom looked at her phone and handed it to me, saying "Oh it's Brandon, probably for you!" So I answered it, and he sounded sooooo awkward. He said, "Umm, you need to hand the phone to your mom." Instantly my alerts were on high. Once I heard him say "Freak!" (his exclamation of choice), I knew something was up.
I didn't want to ask him outright, because I was getting my hopes up and if it wasn't actually what I was thinking I would be crushed. However, I was trying to be sneaky. I decided to call him at lunchtime, to see if he was in the car. He was, and he said he was just waking up from a nap. I said "Don't lie, you're in the car right now!" "Ohhh uhhh yeah Michael and I are going to Burger King." Hmmmmm. But then I thought, "if I call him a few hours later and if he is STILL in the car, then I will know he's coming to see me!" So a few hours later I called... and I couldn't hear the car. Turns out he could see me the whole time, because we were both in the same part of BYU campus. But it was enough to make me sad and give up hope. Imagine my surprise 20 minutes later when he walked through my grandparent's door. Luckily Michael was there to keep everyone entertained while I hugged Brandon for about 5 minutes straight. He was only there for the afternoon, but it was enough to keep me going until Monday.
We celebrated who knows what by going to Tucano's.

After that, I brought him over the Pleasant Grove to meet some more aunts and uncles and cousins. Poor guy, he's never going to meet everyone.
I don't really remember what we talked about (not like I'd tell you anyways), but I just remember being super happy and surprised that he had pulled this off for me. Luckily I convinced them to leave early in the morning, instead of driving through the night. It was a great surprise, and I owe him big time for doing that for me.

Austin's Graduation

Yesterday was Austin's graduation... it was very nice. I was dreading sitting through the ceremony, because I was so bored throughout my graduation. I just remember sitting there and wanting to get to Grad Night. I had not liked high school very much. Even so, I started thinking of the finality of graduation. I haven't seen the majority of my class since that night, and to be honest that's fine with me. But it still was kind of sad to say goodbye to some people. I just don't like endings, to be honest.
But, Austin had a much better high school experience. Watching him grow during these last 4 years has been pretty amazing. He's always been more charismatic than the rest of us combined (besides Cole, maybe). His classmates love him, and he's loved that.
It was pretty amusing to watch some of my old teachers back at the UCI Bren Center. Some will just never leave, huh? There were also some classmates working as paraprofessionals and teacher's aides, which was amusing. In all, probably about a quarter of my class was there for younger siblings.
We all had noisemakers for when Austin stood up, because we wanted to try and embarrass him (nope). Little did we realize that we were going to wait for the VERY end, because he was going to be the second to last person called. Oh no, it gets better! He and his friend then continued to pick up their advisor between them and bounce her up and down, to the laughter and cheers of their classmates. My mom was laughing, but said it was "not appropriate". I was just amazed he had the guts to do it.
This picture we took was cute, and on my new cell phone which actually takes new pictures. He was so happy, and is probably exhausted from partying at Grad Night all night. But we're proud of him, and hope that BYU can handle this.

My summer friends

So one of the joys of being a Child Development major is that one of the best work experiences I can have is babysitting. I love it. The downside is that I don't have a whole lot of peer interaction, because I'm there for the kids. But I have been lucky enough to go to a wedding reception by now, for my friend Jen (Neeley) Harker. Bethany drove out with me because it was an hour or so away, and we only stayed for a few minutes. But it was gorgeous, and if I had a backyard that big and picturesque I would use ours too. But Murphy has made sure that we know it's his territory now. (Note: Our backyard isn't bad... it's just not big enough for a wedding reception). Watching her and her husband Dusty at the reception was cute, and it also helped me realize that having my reception the night before wouldn't be bad. She loved having everyone there, but she was just tired by the end of the day.

Don't even get me started on that dress. It was so gorgeous, if I could have found one in my size (because she's about half my size), I would have copied her in a second.
Other than that, I hang out with babies. Literally. I'll just give first names of these children, but they're adorable.

Keegan

Kamden (they can't let me use the camera without wanting to touch it all the time)

Maverick

 Savannah (aka Savvy)

I love them.

The week with Brandon

So I got the chance to visit Brandon from May 16 to May 20. It was a glorious occasion, as the last time I had seen him I had a total breakdown in the Long Beach airport parking lot. But anyway. We had business to do. Our wedding plans included:
1) Finding a suit for Brandon
2) Find an apartment
3) Get Brandon sized for his ring
4) Find potential invitation printers?
5) Get some quality time together

Monday was an exciting day. I was so antsy all day. When I got to the Idaho Falls airport, I was about ready to die I was so excited. It was great to see Brandon again. We immediately went to dinner at Garcia's, a restaurant we had been to on a previous date. It was right next to the mall, so we just went over and got his ring finger sized right then. Now I know what size it is, and I can find a wedding band for him. Afterwards, we went to his apartment and just hung out. I got to stay with Megan, Brandon's sister, who was nice enough to let me stay in her bed.
Tuesday was pretty low key. We didn't do any wedding planning, just hung out with each other.
Wednesday, we got down to business. Wedding business. We found an apartment! It was so exciting. Brandon, being resourceful as usual, checked the school's bulletin board website for open contracts and found one that opened in August. It's at Cambridge Court, which would put us across the parking lot from our friends Scott and Christie Anderson. We also found a suit for Brandon (he looks really good in it... but I'm a little biased.)
Thursday I tried to not be too sad. I knew my trip was winding down, and any time anybody else tried to hang out with us I became irritated and would withdraw a little. That's just my way of making sure Brandon knows I don't like being away from him I guess. But his sister Ashlee came into town from a wedding in Utah, so we got to go out to dinner. It was super fun, and the only place where we got a picture of us.

My hair looks super nasty here because my scalp decided to freak out as soon as I got there so I couldn't dry it even if I wanted to. So I settled for looking like a wet dog.
Friday I left. Knowing how much rent is now, I have more motivation to babysit. So if anyone needs me, I'm yours! My WVA camp counseling job starts in a few weeks, so hopefully I'll be way busy then.

Teenage Girls!!!!!!!

So today is Bethany's 13th birthday. Something good to celebrate with all the sad stuff going on in the world. She is "dictator for the day", as she likes to call it. Just a few quick things...
I was quite proud of my birthday card that Brandon and I picked out for her. I won't explain the story, but it's a good one that Bethany can explain sometime:

How cute.
Bethany is a cute 13 year old, and hopefully she keeps her sweet disposition throughout her teenage years.

Crocheting

Ever since Brandon left me (or I should say I left him, because he's back where we were before), I've been trying to come up with things to do with my time. It's not even that I hate being with my family, because I don't. I like being home. It's just hard to go from being with someone all day every day to only being able to communicate by phone and Skype (Although I did get to see him this week (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) which is my excitement) which i'll post about when I get brandon's camera back). My mom suggested I take up a hobby, which I initially scoffed. I just enjoy being by myself when I'm melancholy, moping around or whatnot. But, I took her advice and took up crocheting. This is my first attempt at it...

By the time I realized it looked bad, it had gone on for long enough that I didn't just want to give it up. So I decided to keep going with it. It's going to be for my hammock that we're hanging up in our study room in the apartment that we SIGNED FOR!!!! Very exciting. At any rate, it's getting quite big, and I am also moving on to other things. Namely, a blanket for our front room.
I'm obsessed. It's really funny, because this is just the thing I would make fun of normally. But now I know I can make baby blankets for when my friends start having children, and stuff for our apartment. Since we're all poor and stuff. I'm also going to make tablecloths, but not by crocheting. Anyway, if anyone has good tips for me I'd love to hear them!

My first temp job

Well, I survived my first temp job... and by survived I really mean survived. It was horrible.
So they called me and told me it was customer service for a company. I would be calling people who had recently bought a product and ask them about their experience.

FALSE.

I get there the first day (it was 1 PM to 5:30 PM originally), and they tell that they're supposed to recruit 240 participants for an auto clinic in New Jersey the weekend of May 6 and May 7. So what am I doing? Cold calls to people from 4 PM to 9 PM East Coast time, calling owners of certain cars to get them to come.
It was pretty interesting, to say the least. I got yelled at a few times, hung up on a LOT, and talked to some pretty interesting people. I was in a room with this girl named Sophie, and she was pretty awesome to talk to. I enjoyed it. For a few days one of the other temps was in our room, and she drove me nuts. She was such a pessimist and a one-upper. One of the other temps was a woman about 65 years old... bless her heart she was so nice but so weird. One time she complimented me on my boat shoes, and then asked me if I was on a boat. I didn't know how to respond, so I said no.
Imagine my joy when the temp agency told me my assignment ended earlier than they had anticipated. Hallelujah!!!!!! It was worth not  getting the extra dough... I am a firm believer that my mental health is much more precious than $10 an hour. And now I'm going to go back to babysitting until i get another job. And I get to visit Brandon next Monday. Yay.

Nothing is going according to plan.

I'll clarify.
Back when Brandon and I started talking about getting married, I had this whole vision in my head. We would either get married July 23 or December 22 (his idea) in the San Diego temple. We would have a gorgeous wedding reception somewhere that is nice but not extravagant, and we would honeymoon somewhere way far away from everyone else... maybe Hawaii? I even had our announcement picture planned out. He would be in a dark gray sweater, wearing his glasses (because I think they make him look very attractive). I would be in a navy blue dress that I bought a year or so ago. We would be standing in front of either a tree with changing colors (obviously if we were getting married in December) or a tree with blossoms everywhere).
Well, obviously that's not happening. But here's the thing. All of this, this is real. I keep telling Brandon that. Those ideas were fantasies, and obviously not realistic. But these pictures, the Newport Beach temple, possibly having our reception at the Bryan building, honeymooning no more than an hour from our families (San Diego and Maine)... that's our real plans. And, I love it!
So why do I keep trying to justify my decisions? No idea. "So where are you getting married?" "The Newport Beach templeBECAUSE we just thought it would be easier that way..." "Where are you thinking about having your reception?" "The Bryan buildingBECAUSE it's free, and if we have a free venue we can spend more money on other things..." "When are you having your reception?" "The night beforeBECAUSE we want to enjoy our reception..."
Seriously. What am i doing? That ends today. It's my wedding gosh dang it and I like how it's going! I don't need to justify anything to anyone.
PS 110 days... I"m counting down. And I am flying up to Idaho in 14 days to see Brandon... I can hardly wait.